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To the teen moms: did anyone tell you that it was gonna be the toddler years that would be the hardest? Not when they are a baby?

I work with teens and many young moms have told me that having a baby was easier than everyone made it out to be and that people were just trying to scare them. It is the terrible twos, threes, and beyond when it gets hard and you could really lose your cool. I have seen so many children abused because their young mom didn't have the patience for a toddler or a preschooler. And at that point the mom is in her 20s and no one thinks of her as a teen mom. I am not trying to be mean or hateful. I just want to know if you realized that the babyhood is the easy part.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Mar. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • I know you mean well, but I think it's a mistake to say that it's easier to have a baby than a toddler. That's just way too much of a generalization, IMO. I am finding that parenting a toddler is MUCH easier than a newborn! Maybe I'm just weird... I think the drive home message is that having kids is hard, no matter their age.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 5:25 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • I recognized fully that a child was a child and nothing was going to be easy. I was not a selfish mommy and always put my son first and actually the roughest part for me was when he was 17. :) He is now 21 and has a daughter. I had him at 16 and I am 37 with a 21 yr old and a grandmommy to a 1 1/2 yr old.
    I also have 5 more boys.
    JLynn0871

    Answer by JLynn0871 at 5:26 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • Our dd will be 2 in july. So we basically are in the "terrible" twos already. So far its been easy with her. Well compared to some kids our DD is an easy child. But there always have been rough times. When she was sick it was killing me, breaking my heart. Doesnt matter if you are a teen mom or not, the easy and rough times they all have to go through. But when i think about myself, then i would say when they come to the puberty age it will get really tough. ;-)

    im not a teen mom btw.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 5:32 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • i was 17 when i had my first and honestly he was a hard baby he was colicy, and would wake up every hour at night and did this till he was about 6 months old and after that was still waking up at night 2 or 3 times He was a super easy toddler and is a great kid now hes 7. Yes being a mom is hard work and maybe alittle harder as a teenager but then again i dont know that i agree with that either. I know alot of older women in there late 20s and early 30s who struggle more with there children then i did as a teen mommy. I agree parenting is hard no matter what age you are.
    Mommy2B04

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 5:33 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • Do you work with me??? This post hit home cause it really applys to me. Not that I didn't know that raising a child was hard, but I said the same thing! I had my first when I was 17 and I remember saying this is not that hard. I remember rubbing it in my mom's face that she was wrong and that having a baby was no where near as bad as she said. Then DS hit about two and it just got harder and harder. He threw terrible temper tantrums over nothing, the screaming, disobidience, all that stuff almost drove me insane. I remember crying and crying because I finally realized what a huge mistake I had made and how I was not mature enough to raise a child. I would NEVER, EVER hit my child, but one day it got so bad and I was so frustrated I went into my bedroom and literally punched a hole in my wall. That is when I realized I needed help. -continued-
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:49 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • continued-- I read every book written about child rearing. I learned so much about child psychology and now feel that I truely understand my son and how to deal with him. I am so happy I had the support and love of my family to help me through my mistake.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:49 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • I always knew what it would be like, and thats why I endeavored, I knew I was prepared. There have yet to be any surprises. =] Having a hubby that is a great father and partner is helpful as well.
    SandraB383

    Answer by SandraB383 at 7:08 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

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