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I have a 5 yr old, 2 yr old, and 3 month old. When me and my husband have sex, i prefer to have him on top, nothing else. I'm just not confident with my body right now. But he keeps wanting to do other things/positions. He tells me he would love me no matter what i looked like, and that he's seen me have three kids, so there's no big surprise. He said once 'it's not like I'm asking too much' well maybe it is too much for me right now. If I don't feel comfortable, i'm not going to. It doesn't matter how he feels about me, it's how i feel. i don't know. Am i wrong???


Asked by Rachel24517 at 5:33 PM on Mar. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,548 Credits)
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Answers (7)
  • I know what you mean. After I had my son I had gained alot of weight and didnt feel confident at ALL about myself. My husband understood if I didnt wanna do things, but I felt like if he wanted to have sex with me then he obviously didnt care how I looked. Im also one of those lights out kinda girls! lol. So no matter what position he never really.. seen me lol. But you do what makes you comfortable. If you feel that strongly about not doing it any other way, just tell him how you feel. and why. and he will take it or leave it! Its your body and dont do anything you dont feel comfortable doing! And you have a 3 month old so you just had a baby! He should def understand.

    Answer by JmgBlair at 7:40 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • I dont think you are wrong at all...if you aren't comfortable the sex won't be good right? you would think he would rather have good sex than have you be uncomfortable the entire time

    Answer by december911 at 5:36 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • No, you're not wrong. But he's not entirely wrong, either. If you're not comfortable, you shouldn't do it. But his needs are just as valid as yours, so you owe it to him to work on this as a couple. Work on your body confidence issues, and maybe include him in that process if you can.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 5:38 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • I suggest compromise. Do his position one time and yours the next.

    Answer by rhope4 at 5:48 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • You are not completely wrong but neither is he. I love variety and I wouldn't be happy with just one position either. Maybe you should do some online research to see if there are other positions that you could try. How about a blindfold for him (I know that sounds silly) but what I mean is make it a foreplay game then hop on him :) Perhaps if he can't see you, you won't feel so self conscious. Have you done anything for yourself to boost your confidence?

    Answer by Tawanda74 at 6:20 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • I was never comfortable being completely naked with the room lit up. During sex though, we liked the lights down and candles didn't bother me, all I thought about was the sex. Now I look worse than ever, and DH has to help me in and out of the shower and sometimes with dressing, I don't give it a thought. I was so sick initially, I didn't give my body a thought. I feel better now, but still don't give it a thought, I figure it's kind of silly to hide it now. Let yourself go and enjoy. ; )

    Answer by LoriW at 6:26 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • I think a man is focused on the actual sex then how you look. You can go with the lights off and do different positions. My husband likes to switch up positions because doing the same one gets boring and doesn't feel as good to him, so maybe that's why your husband wants to.
    Just turn out the lights and let it happen.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:18 PM on Mar. 7, 2009