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How do you think a single mom should handle dating this kind of guy?

I joined a gym back in November to help me train for a 10K. I started talking to a guy who works out at the same time I do. I'm 31, divorced, and he's 25 and fresh out of grad school. He asked me out back in early Feb and we have been out a few times. He is really nice but is single and never married and said his longest relationship has been 18 months. I like him, but long-term, will it work or is he too naieve.? No offense, to 25 year-old guys but I've met so many 25-27 year-olds who just don't know what they want long term. Your thoughts?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Mar. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • my DH is 20 and knows what he wants. Just because he is young doesnt mean anything, Alot of older men also dont know what they want. Give it a shot, the worst that could happen is it doesnt work out...oh well try again
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 12:18 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Not all men (or women) are the same at 25 years old. My husband was ready at 20 and I was ready at 22...we knew what we wanted. I think you should get to know HIM and just see how it is. I mean, he's out of GRAD school...that stands for something. Once you get to know him and when the time is right, see how is around your children. Feel it out and take it slow.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 12:18 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • it all depends on the guy... i'm 22 and married to a 25 yr old... its all their mind set... you have guys who are 20 and ready to settle down and you can have guys who are 40 and not mentally ready for the commitment... It's all where their head is and what they want... talk to him about his future plans.. if it matches yours try it out... if not move on... My biggest thing when a kid is involved thoughis don't bring the guy around your kid until you know it's serious and is heading to a 'permanent' thing... There is nothing worse (in my opinion) then to let your child grow attatched to every guy your with and they end up feeling hurt when it doesn't work out
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 12:20 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • I know 33 year olds who dont know what they want! Then around 45 the change their mind again about what they want!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Take it slow. Who knows if he's ready. Do things with your kid/s, so you can see how they interact. Nothing serious, fun stuff. If he starts to move in too fast, talk to him and let him know things have to go slow. Just because he's young, and younger then you, it doesn't mean he's not ready. Look, my oldest sis married a younger guy, her second time around. She had a horrible, abusive marriage. This younger guy did what he thought was right. He married her, and moved her and her daughter to another state. He did love her, I don't think he was in love with her like he should have been to marry her. Anyway, things didn't work out. But I think he saw himself as her saving grace. He got her and her daughter away from a bad, bad place. Just don't let this guy think you need him to save you. Let him know you have room for him, but you don't NEED him, not for that. Did I confuse you? I hope not. Just take it slow!! GL:)
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 12:23 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Sweetie, you know the guy better than we do! Do you think he is nieve? I think it is very admirable to consider the long-term before getting into a relationship. Without doing that, you're really just wasting your time on someone who isn't worth your time in the future, so bravo for being smart about who you date :-) However, you don't have to date him to get to know him. Offer to be friends and guage his lifestyle, his ideals and his drive for the future. Then let it be more romantic if you want it to be. Someone completing grad school sounds driven and goal oriented to me. My husband has had his degree and a career since 23. We bought our house when I was 21 and he was 25. He's a great father and a wonderful provider for our family. While age can give you a hint about maturity, maturity is usually in the eye of the beholder (what YOU think maturity is) and is usually best juged on a person-by-person basis. :-)
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:22 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Focus on your kids, single moms should NOT date.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • I would not look at him long term at this point. Way to early to decide because you yourself said you'd only been out a few times. If you are having fun--see where it goes, but age or not, it is not fair of you to even worry about this now. However, you are seeing that you both may have very different sets of priorities at this point in life--that does not mean they won't merge,but it does not mean they will.

    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 8:39 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • You have the reason to be worry and wonder . I say go for it and have fun. The worse thing is just not working out.
    yoshiki56

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 9:17 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • You just met him in Nov and already thinking long term? Just take it day by day. I have a friend who is 56 and never married and only dates women up to 18 months. He DOES know what he wants. He wants freedom from commitment. Your young man just finished grad school. The world is his oyster. Why would he want to think about being saddled with commitment now? I'd enjoy him but wouldn't think beyond the 18 months boundary he seems to have set.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:12 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

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