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Is it totally selfish ofme to give up trying to breastfeeding, if all it does is frustuate both me and baby?

my baby has been supplemented formula ever since he was born, while I pumped my breastmilk, but because of this my milk supply is very low. Is it bad of me to just want to do whats easier? I know that I will be less stressed out... be honest please. My husband ismaking me feel terrible about this, and I dont have any0ne to talk to.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:00 AM on Mar. 8, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (59)
  • neither one of my girls could latch on properly i tried while in the hospital then for about a week after.. Thank goodness there is formula.. You have to do what makes you LESS stressed out because the baby can pick up on it.

    Answer by momof2girls2407 at 8:05 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • No, it's human of you to want to do what's easier. I'm sorry your husband is being less than supportive. I'm all for breastfeeding, but if it is causing you so much stress and/or pain that you really can't stand it anymore, then switch. A happy healthy FAMILY is the most important thing, because if you aren't happy and healthy, you can't make baby happy and healthy, you know? Have you really talked to your husband about just how miserable you are? Have you connected with a lactation consultant? I was ready to give up after 8 weeks of excruciating pain (ugh, it was hell), so I called my lc and told her I was about to give up. She came over that day and helped me so much with tips and support. She made it so much more doable. So that's just a thought for you, since you seem a bit unsure about it yet. But in the end, you get to decide, and no matter your choice, you are not a bad mother.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 8:09 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Not at all. If you are happier then your baby will be too. You have every right to do what you want. Formula provides nutrition so don't beat yourself up about it. I know it is hard not to with this issues, but do what feels best. I loved bottle feeding and for me that is what worked. I tried breast feeding and it did not work--way beyond painful. I pumped with my first two kids for several weeks, but with #3 it was 100% formula, and she was my calmest baby because I took the stress (for me mind you, I can only speak for me) of breastfeeding and pumping out. Either way, you are the mom and you do what you feel is best. It is often different for everyone.


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 8:26 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Not at all. You have to do what is best for both of you and breastfeeding isn't for every woman or baby.


    Answer by Christine0813 at 8:31 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • BTW, yes we all know it's the best. Your husband has no clue and should not  try to force you or make you feel guilty. GL in whatever you decide.


    Answer by Christine0813 at 8:34 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Do whatever makes you and your baby happy and comfortable! The most important part of feeding your baby is the bonding time, and you can do that just as well while he takes a bottle as you could while breast feeding. Your baby needs a happy and relaxed mommy to love him more than anything else!

    Answer by sarah_smile at 8:50 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • with my first daughter I tried for afew weeks and the dr had me try but nothing so I just gave up I recall just crying and all. Then my second I was only able to bump and I didnt for a while it was every other bottle for afew months then I was done I was even taking the milk suppler to help bring in more and no luck. Use a bottle and start enjoying the feeding times :)

    Answer by moma22angels at 9:06 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • thank you girls so much! i really appreiciate your thoughts. All i know is that when I am bottle feeding both me and baby are alot happier and not stressed and that is the important thing!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • and being happy and building a healthy and loving relationship with your baby IS the most important thing. Don't let any other mother out there tell you otherwise. You do what makes you and your baby's life the most fulfilling.

    Answer by bluelady27 at 9:18 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • no! no need to feel selfish. i tried after 4 days i couldn't take anymore. some of us aren't cut out to be a bottle. the time u spent trying gave baby the things needed 4 a healthy start so don't u worry about what anyone says. this was advice given 2 me by both my dr. & a pediatrician. good luck drying up isn't wonderful but we all have to do it some time.

    Answer by luna513 at 9:29 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

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