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Is my child the worst 2 year old ever?

This question is more of a rant. He is in his defiant stage. Everything is no! When something doesn't go his way, like his trains derail, or the bull dozer doesn't push enough dirt, he looses his cool. Screaming and hitting himself in the head or on the legs. Then he whines, all day about things he wants or doesn't want to do. He spits in my face and takes toys from his brother. He fights me on everything. I spank, sometimes so hard it hurts my hand...he doesn't care. We do time out in his room with the door closed. that works for about five minutes. I know this is just a phase, because he is normally very good. How does your 2 year old torture you?

 
missv66

Asked by missv66 at 9:09 AM on Mar. 8, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (11)
  • No, this isn't normal or typical. A two year old throws tantrums, is defiant, NOT abusive. That part is NOT normal. Time out in his room with the door closed is the wrong use of time out. Make a House Rules Chart, list what is expected of him, no spitting, no taking siblings toys, no throwing toys...! Make it clear and put it where he can see it. He gets ONE, only ONE warning to breaking the house rules, then sternly in a controlled voice, let him know what rule he violated and put him in a time out chair for one minute per age year, use a timer. When time is up, he must give you an apology with an explanation, ie. I'm sorry I spit on you..., then give hugs and on he goes. This takes a TON of patience and consistency, being that consistency is key! Hitting an already "violent natured" child is only violence for violence, it doesn't work. He already has a problem with controlling his anger. Make sure (continued)....

    blessed5x

    Answer by blessed5x at 1:11 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • I have to admit i am not good with that,but he sounds typical 2 to me.
    yoshiki56

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 9:13 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • He sounds like a normal 2 year old! My dd started acting out like this at 10 months old. She is 3 now, and still has days like this, but not soo much! You will get through it, just testing and learning his boundries at this time! Its a new lesson for us parents at each age!
    ali_1107

    Answer by ali_1107 at 9:16 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Sounds normal to me. Mine will sometimes just come up to me and scream no in my face then storm off for no apparent reason *shrug* 2 is a strange age.
    Xynyth

    Answer by Xynyth at 9:20 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • ITS COMPLETELY NORMAL...COULD YOUR SON AND MY SON BE TWINS BECAUSE HE DOES THE SAME EXACT THING...TRUST ME THEYLL GROW OUT OF IT
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 10:56 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • I think it's normal as well. My 2 year old does the same thing, screams, goes to the ground in protest, etc. My mil told us that we need to distract him, so if there's something we don't want him doing, to divert his attention to something else. right now we have sleepign issues, my boy doesn't want to go to bed and eventually just falls asleep on the floor. fine if we didn't have a 9 week old we're trying to put to bed at the same time!! lol
    What has worked for us is to divert attention. we've spanked our toddler too but it doesn't work, he wants attention even if it's negative attention. so trying this diversion approach helps some. our son says no too. Hang in there. I do notice that our son loves positive attention more so when he does something right we really really praise him. I notice that the 'no's' are becoming less and less. he'll be 3 in 6 months. good luck
    mannaworm

    Answer by mannaworm at 11:24 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • no...my friends 2 yr old is the worst LOL. no but seriously he can scream in a high pitch for over 10 minutes and still keep going. Im not one for hitting children but damn i wanted to beat his butt when was there visiting. He is so bad that he makes her break down numerous times a week, like sobbing in tears. He fights, hits, spits, throws does the tantrum stuff ugh the kid is a brat. Im glad i wont see him for at least another 6 months. hopefully by then hes out of that stage
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • he knows that it is ok to be angry or frustrated, however, it is never ok to be abusive or violent in his anger. I suggest you watch Nanny 911, her techniques work. I've been using them for 22 years! No excuses....like....well he's a typical 2 year old, this is normal. Parenting is for the weak or the lazy, it takes a huge deal of work, especially if you have a child like your 2 y/o. My oldest was EXTREMLY strong willed, it was near impossible to break, but consistently using the right techniques, it turned that strong willed into a determined strong awesome person. And a peaceful joyful home! Use the techniques right and you will succeed!

    blessed5x

    Answer by blessed5x at 1:15 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • * not
    blessed5x

    Answer by blessed5x at 1:17 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • He may be aggressive because your approach may be aggressive. I remember spanking my son when he was two and he spanked me back..so we didn't do that one anymore. If I was screaming and yelling, so was he. The chart with his expectaions and goals is a great idea. We do this with our children. It's a positive re-enforcement. If you react to his aggressive behavior with aggression you are re-enforcing the negative behavior. My last two year old was hellish...she still get's very heated, but I think we manage it better than the first one. She knows there are consequences for her actions. But it's challenging because she can be very willful. She's 3 now, it's a little better, but I have another one that's gonna be 2 soon!
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 3:06 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

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