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Am I being irrational?

I feel like I have no time to spend with DH. We both work. I work Mon.-Fri. till noon. He works Mon.Tues.Thru.Sat. till 7pm. During his days off we have had something to do. Sundays he goes off to play with his friends all day. We have had many arguments about this. We are both really stressed out. DH says sun. are his day to get away from the stress. I understand that he needs that, but why does it have to be the only day off we have together. His friends can't get together any other day. I am really upset about it. I have cried the last two weeks I have dropped him off. I feel overwhelmed being in charge of everything all the time. I have expressed this to him many times and he does nothing to help me. Well let me change that he will do something for a hour or two after i complain then its back to his selfcenter world.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Mar. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Is it possible for one of you to alter your work schedule so you can see more of each other? If not I noticed you said he works until 7 pm on Sat. and has Sundays off. Why not make Saturday night "your" night? Pick him up after work and go out! Go to dinner, see a movie, go to a play, play pool, whatever. Just the two of you. Or simply stay home, cuddle with some popcorn and watch a movie or talk! Perhaps see if he is willing to compromise and alternate Sundays with his friends and with you. As his wife you should come first IMO, but everyone does need their "time away" sometimes. If he isn't willing to compromise at all, there may be a deeper-rooted problem you need to discuss.
    Koukla12905

    Answer by Koukla12905 at 1:04 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Some men are like that. When my DH was stressed, he used to do that suff a lot. I nagged ( as nice as possible) and shared how I felt about it eveytime he did it and also took the time when he was in a good mood to express my feelings. It took a LONG time but he spends tons more time with me/the family. Don't take his actions personally men are naturally more selfish than us (IMO). :)
    hannahwill

    Answer by hannahwill at 1:05 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Ask him if you can alternate weekends, so that the two of you can spend some time together one weekend, and so that he and his friends can hang out together the next. Then, on the weekends that he goes out, plan a regular event with some of your friends too so that you don't miss him as much! :-)
    sarah_smile

    Answer by sarah_smile at 1:10 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • I recently watched a movie where a guy did that and married his sweetheart and she and the kids went with them. Is that a possibility for you? The guys played seasonal ball and the gf/wives chatted and played with the kids. It was a family outing but the included other ppl. The point was they spent their Sundays together.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:10 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • We have separate nights or days out with friends, but they are not every week. When you have a family your priorities are different. I don't think you are out of line, he needs to put you above his friends. As far as the "stress" he speaks of, ask him why quality family time stresses him out.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 1:39 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • If I read your post correctly, he has off on Wed and you have off at noon on Wed. If so, then here is your time with him. You can do lots in an afternoon and evening.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:48 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Please don't take this wrong, I am not trying to be mean. You said you have argued many times, and you've cried about it. Maybe that's the stress he needs to get away from. Give him some reasons to want to stay home. : )
    LoriW

    Answer by LoriW at 3:28 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • What about Wed and Fri? You only work until noon. You have the rest of the day together.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 9:46 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

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