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Why do I miss him so much? (this question is going to be continued in an answer)

My x cheated on me before, and the girl he cheated on me with came to his house when I was there, and told him to choose between me and her. He chose me, and then left me three weeks later for her. I tried to move on by going to the gym, and everything, and I know how much of a jerk he is. I do not want him back, but I miss him, and its going to be even harder now that Im carrying his baby which he does not want! I know he is an asshole,and he has f***ed me over soooo bad. Im not stupid I would NEVER go back to him, but the thing is I love him. My dad is an alcoholic and it he was the only person I felt comfortable talking about that stuff to, but now I dont even have his friendship! IM NOT GOING TO CALL him, because I do not want to, and IM not dumb. It would be stupid to call him! I do things like go for walks and go out with friends all the time to get him off my mind I mean Im always busy, but still I always find myself

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Mar. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • cont.
    Thinking about him. I have done EVERYTHING people have been telling me to do to move on with my life, and get over things! I have hardly had any time to think but when I do I am thinking about him. I love him so much, but I would never go back to him because I know he does not love me. I know what peoople are going to say why would you want to be with someone who is like that? I DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH HIM, and I am not ever planning on being with him,and I am so mad at him and dissapointed at how everything turned out. BUT YET I STILL LOVE HIM!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Believe me I know what you are talking about... I'm in a similar situation, my ex was with me for 3 years, he had cheated on me, moved out to be with the other women (we stayed together, they were on and off though), she broke into my apt, caused problems at my job, attacked me in front of my kids... I found out I was preg, told him he said "Have an abortion.... If you don't we're through." Well we're through I was stupid to stay with him, I love him still, tried to move on, I know he's screwed me over and psycho wants to play mommy, I'm living for my children, taking it day by day, it's hard as hell but I have no other choice. The pain does not go away, at least it has yet to for me, I still cry, I don't want him back...... he's not the man I fell in love with. All we can do is take it day by day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • im right there with both of you i know have a child she is one with someone who wont ever see her.. he doesnt want to.. i am over the days were i cry.. I am on to working on me.. and i am moving on slowly but it takes time..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • It does take time.

    And the thing you should try to understand is that it's not necessarily him that you're in love with, because of the negative feelings you have toward him, and it may not be him that you miss.

    I came to terms with my XF and I separating by telling myself over and over, I was not in love with him, I was in love with being in love with him. It was the companionship I missed, not him. It was the sex I missed, not him. It was the things we did together, not him. I realized that if I were doing those same things with someone that really cared about me, that even as good as they seemed to be that those things could be better.

    Chin up, sister, and take it one day at a time. Do what ever it takes, tell yourself whatever you have to to stop drowning yourself in this! If you need some support, feel free to PM me. I'm always here to lend an ear.
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 3:10 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • You have to ju let time deal with this one.
    What you are doing is very healthy and what you're feeling is so normal.
    But if you're doing everything you can, then just let time take the sting out.
    It will hurt for a long time because you don't get a real answer as to why this happend and I doubt you ever will.
    Just keep happy thoughts about your sooon to be new arrival and once they're here, things will get easier because that little face will love you NO MATTER WHAT.
    DesignerMom0801

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 3:27 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • It takes some time getting over someone, some cases even years. Do some things to make yourself happy.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 4:35 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

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