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What do I do about my boyfriends spoiled 2 year old?

We just had a baby(about to be 2 months old) and my boyfriend gets his son every Thursday and every other weekend. When we have his son he lets him do whatever he wants and it drives me crazy. The 2 year old doesn't talk. Nobody makes him tell them when he wants something so I don't think he'll ever learn. And my boyfriend just lets him do anything when he's with us. The only time he disciplines him is if I tell him to make him stop doing something. Every time my boyfriend tries to hold the baby his 2 yr old throws a fit and he doesn't do anything! I don't know what to do, I'm getting so frustrated. Is it wrong to want my boyfriend to be able to pay attention to the baby while his 2 yr old is here?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Mar. 8, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (6)
  • It is not wrong for you to feel that way. I am sure the 2 year old is going through a lot with his Daddy not only having a new girlfriend but a new baby but at the same time it is not fair for your baby to have to be put aside when his brother is there. I wish I had some great advice for you but I just don't. All I can say for sure is that you need to talk to your boyfriend about this now before you end up resenting him and/or the 2 year old. You guys together need to come up with a plan.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Well normally the mother would be training the dad as the baby gets older lol. So I guess your going to have to show him how to discaplin him. Get them to color together, try having him say the colors. Have quiet time just for them. He may not understand how important rules are for an older child around an infant.
    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 2:20 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • sorry ..... discipline.

    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 2:21 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • i agree with Farrahann...you need to lay down how things are going to go. If this is how he acts with his son, it is a very good indication that his fathering will be the same with your child....discipline....good luck
    Adeline1210

    Answer by Adeline1210 at 9:06 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • I would have to say bite your tongue, the child is not yours, he is likely adjusting to many changes and it is his fathers and mothers duty to help him do so. Even as a step parent it is NOT your place, it is the parents. Yes the father should step up and correct the child, maybe he could benefit from parenting classes, who knows however it is his place to care for his son when in his custody not yours, if he can't control the child perhaps he should not have visitations. Worry about your child, and try and think of it this way, the two year old gets a limited time with it's father and now he has to share it with a new baby and a girlfriend, you have him the rest of the time so does your baby why begrudge the two year old this time with his father? You get him 4 out of 7 days every other week and 6 out of 7 the other, cut the kid some slack he's only 2!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • He's Only Two is not an excuse. A Two year old can still be taught right from wrong. and I am Assuming that if she has a two month old she has been around the older son for ATLEAST 11 months.... i do believe that is more than enough time for an "adjustment".

    I say talk to your boyfriend and set up ground rules for your house that you are also going to use for your child. After all these children are siblings and what you do with or for one child you should do for the other. This is what we did with my boyfriends son(i have been with my boyfriend since his son was 13 months old so i understand where you are coming from) We sat down and made rules for our house. I was fortunate enough to get along with my bf's ex so the 4 of us, me, my boyfriend, his ex and her husband, and we set up rules that would be followed at both houses that way it would cut down some of the "confusion" and acting out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

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