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Has your husband ever cheated.......

and you stayed with him? how did you cope, does it ever get easier? do you trust him completely again? do you really think things will work out?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Mar. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • My husband did (we became un-married in 1989 due to this). I chose divorce, not because I knew he'd do it again, but because I didn't want to live my life feeling the pangs of untrust inside myself.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 2:53 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • My husband has never cheated on me. But if he did i would stay with him. I dont believe in divorce untill you have exhausted every other possible means such as counseling and life style changes. DH also feels the same way.
    If DH every cheated on me (which i have full confidence that he never will) we would get counseling and try to learn to love each other the way lovers are supposed to all over again.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:57 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Anyone who cheats even a husband I dont think is worth it! Really if he loved you, and if you were enough why would he be go looking for more? Thats so disrespectful. Listen I was with a guy for 10 yrs!!! He cheated on me, and I stayed with him biggest mistake I ever made because it made him think he could get away with stuff like that! I never got over it, and it never got easier. I felt like he wasnt mine anymore and sometimes I couldnt even look at him in the eyes. I didnt trust him, and even though I wanted to I could never trust him again!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Yes, yes, yes it does get easier with time, not completely but working on it, things will work out if you think it's worth working on.
    DesignerMom0801

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 3:24 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • After watching my MIL waste the past three years of life trying to put her life back together after her husband's cheating (and therefore missed out on her grandchildren's entire lives, due to being holed up in her house smoking cigarettes, popping pills, and drinking herself into oblivion), I can tell you flat out that I wouldn't stay with my DH if he ever cheated. There's so much more to live for, why spend years trying to regain a life you never had in the first place??

    HOWEVER - that aside, there were a number of indescretions in my relationship outside of my relationship in the past... Meaning: he and I weren't in a relationship, yet the relationship bond was still there.. While I was never cheated on, I kind of "felt" cheated on...
    It took a few years to recover from it once we decided to really be serious about our relationship..... And our relationship still nearly ended over it thousands of times, until finally
    Liyoness

    Answer by Liyoness at 3:26 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • he put everything into making our relationship work, and I put everything into putting the past in the past...
    We haven't had a fight since.. And when those old feelings and insecurities creep up, I shove them down and remind myself that everything is PERFECT. The only reason I'm thinking about those things is because of boredom, really.. Nothing stirs the pot and adds some zest to life like a good fight.. But I refuse to do that to us, because I recognise now that that's what those feelings are.. Instead I focus that bored energy into something constructive for the relationship...

    Things only work out if you BOTH put the effort in to make them work..

    Mind you, the only reason why I got through it emotionally was because it didn't happen within the confines of our relationship.. If it had, then no, we would not be together now.
    Liyoness

    Answer by Liyoness at 3:30 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • I did and my hubby stayed with me. not saying he has a free cheat card, but if he did it, I would feel compelled to forgive him, since he forgave me. we worked it out and have a great marriage now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • My husband cheated. I tried to work through it bc I don't think men are naturally monogamous but it just got out of control and he would come home and be abusive to me. That dog wasn't going to hunt so I left him and divorced him. I'm sure 3 marriages later he still cheats on his latest wife. Not my problem anymore. I like just being responsible for me. HOWEVER, with that said I did read in a book (I believe it was in Will He Really Leave Her For Me?) that if a man cheats once and gets caught and is remorseful then he's probably never going to do it again. You know him better than we do. Is it in his nature to be like that repeatedly? I knew mine would and wasn't going to deal with it. Some men stray and feel really bad about it and never cheat again.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:35 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • My ex-husband cheated on me and I was devastated when I found out. Yes, we did try to work it out. Went to counseling, etc. Things really calmed down and he became VERY devoted for about 2 years. Never went anywhere, and was home every night on time. HE tried very hard to prove his love to me but I was not able to stop picturing them together. I coudn't stop wondering how he could allow himself to hurt me in that way. But I kept on trying and we stayed happily together for those 2 years. But I eventually was honest with myself and him and told him that over time, I had stopped loving him because of the pain he'd caused me...I filed for divorce a few days later. I still love him and I miss our family but for ME, once the pain was there, I was not able to work around it. Some people are very good at forgivness and are very understanding. I am not one of those people.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Yes my husband cheated on me more than once but i still love him and always will, it hurt me when i found out and it was hard to trust him and to this every day i still dont trust him, and probly never will
    erica2525

    Answer by erica2525 at 8:33 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

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