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What are you thinking about following lines:

"When you have your first child you´re not playing the leading part in your life any more." ?

 
outstandingLove

Asked by outstandingLove at 3:15 PM on Mar. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,136 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Well put ! ... And you could add that embracing this reality creates for you more happiness than you ever imagined possible ! :-)
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 3:27 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Absolutly true!
    mommyofAurora

    Answer by mommyofAurora at 3:16 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • So, true your life changes the moment you find out youre pregnant. Its not just about you anymore.
    lilmizmoore1127

    Answer by lilmizmoore1127 at 3:18 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Well, true and not true. It's certainly not all about me and my needs anymore, that's for sure. But I'm still the lead player. Letting the children assume the lead role in your life is a mistake, in my opinion.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • I agree anon 3:18.
    nikkiJ86

    Answer by nikkiJ86 at 3:20 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • It is true, but when I got married, I placed my husband first, because I loved him so much. No subservience, but I chose to be good to him so that he would be happy. This was a good part of my goal, to do what I could for him to be happy, which in general also made me happy. I say "in general" because I wasn't enthusiastic about his several nights a week out bowling and so forth when I was home with the baby, but that is another story. These days I would have told him so and discussed what could be done. Back to the question: When the baby came, then the baby took precedence. My answer to the statement in the OP is that I was already no longer the leading part, my husband/marriage was, but the baby did become the leading part.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:23 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Your child/children will always come before you. In every thing.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:38 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • I think if you were a self involved person before having a baby or marriage then you will probably not change. Not everyone is cut out to be a nurturer or place others before them. For us our marriage comes first then our children. We do this because through having a good marriage our children are protected and given an advantage in life...it is healthy for everyone involved.
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 3:45 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • I agree. When you have children, I think they should become your main focus. Of course you still need 'you' time and time with the SO, but the children are the leads. The time to focus on yourself or SO is before you have kids. Thats why everyone should fully experiance life before having children; if possible. Children are the only beings on this Earth that are completely dependent on you, the parent. Everything should revolve around them and thier needs. From the basics to the higher learning, we are shaping the next generation. Its a privilege and a responsibility that we must fully commit ourselves too in order to create the most intelligent, athletic, emotionally stable and healthy children we possibly can.
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 1:34 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

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