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So, my husband just reconnected with a bunch of old friends

from grade school. Some married, some not. They are planning a little reunion, but I get the feeling he doesn't want me to go. I'm a little bummed and don't understand why he wouldn't want his wife to go with him. I'd want him to be there with me. What do you think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Mar. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I would straight up ask him if he wanted me to go. And if the answer was no, I'd ask why. I wouldn't be mad or confrontational about it. I would just want to know.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 3:32 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • If none of the others will have their wives there, then yeah, this could be why. Ask him. I'd want to be there, too, to enjoy the experience with him. But maybe he wants/they want a guys night out to laugh and joke but might feel inhibited if the wives were there.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:33 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • He want to go with out you ??? Or is it he wont go because your going??? Just let him go along.. He might just want to talk to his old friends alone.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:34 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • I think that perhaps he'd like to catch up with his old friends without his wife there. Nothing wrong with that. My DH has a bunch of men that he was friends with in the Navy. They try to have yearly "surf trips". It's their time to bond and reminisce without their wife's and family there.
    I think it's healthy to have friends and time away from your SO. It doesn't mean he's hiding something or that he loves you any less.
    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 3:37 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • it's guys and girls, some married some not. it's not just a guys night, just kinda makes me feel unwanted, that's all. I wouldn't want to go without him. I am okay with him having friends and reconnecting, just bums me out he doesn't want me to be there with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • I know it bums you out, but it sounds like you're putting your own expectations on him. I think you're taking it too personally. He does have a right to not be attached to your hip and reconnect with his friends.
    Just because you would include him in that kind of situation, doesn't mean he feels the same way.
    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 3:52 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • They are his old friends that he grew up with. I would not expect to go with my husband and we would not expect to go with me to meet old friends. What would you have to add to the conversation? They are all going to be talking about old times and people that you do not know. Let him go have his fun!
    Magpie75

    Answer by Magpie75 at 4:32 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Every time we go to a reunion of sorts the spouses seem bored and always want them to leave. Some even get angry and leave alone but once spouse is gone the person seems to relax and just enjoy themselves. Nothing bad is going on, they just can be comfortable and shoot the breeze about old times. Let them man go back in time.It's only for one night. You get him back when it's over.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:45 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • wait wait wait. why wouldn't he want you to go. i have to disagree with the ladies on here. if it's a girls and guys party not just the guys then i would feel like my husband doesn't think much of me. not to be mean but that is whats crossed my mind like he is ashamed of you. i know if this happened with my husband he would certainly want me to go so that he could show me off to his friends & the fact that he has tied the knot as it seemed since he was a player before that he may never settle down. he would most certainly want me to meet his friends and have them meet me especially if they have wives too. i would be hurt if for some odd reason this ever happened but i know it would never happen to me. i would just act like your going until he tells you otherwise. if he doesn't have the nerve to tell you no your not going then you shouldn't be expected to read into things. so just plan on going and don't make a big deal over it
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 5:08 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Yea I would tell him to go by himself. I know I would feel out of place with a reuinion of my husbands and he would feel the same way if the tables were turned.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 5:09 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

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