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Boored with my husband

Is this normal? This month we will be married 3 years together for 5. We have three kids together and one from a prior relationship. Our relationship used to be so passionate and exciting now we just work and take care of kids. I've tried to spice things up but I still feel so blah. We get along fine, and I don't think about cheating. We almost never have sex and when we do it's really booring. I myself no longer have an interest in sex and don't really know why. I like spending time with him I just don't wanna do it. He's really sweet about this which makes me feel worse. I know he'd never go elsewhere, he makes me feel secure. I know he isn't the problem, it's me. I'm scared this will stay like this and it will hurt our marriage. It's been like this for a year.

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Steff107

Asked by Steff107 at 9:53 PM on Mar. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I think its welcome to the real world. Do you do fun things for you and him not only sex but other things? If you can't laugh together and gab that can put a damper on love life. Do you watch tv together. maybe even in a house of kids you're not spending enough time together. When my husband's not helped with kids it's really tired me out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Well when you have sex do you have an O? if not that could be the problem. try to new sex positons or if you havent tryed clit O.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 10:03 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • We spend all kinds of time together, we go on dates, we talk, we drink together, all kinds of stuff. I wonder if there is something going on with me.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 10:05 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • could be hormones... having alot of kids can mess them up.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 10:05 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Could you be depressed? Not wanting to have sex anymore is sometimes a sign of depression. I've been with my husband 8 years, only married for a month :) lol but we still act like two kids in a candy shop when we are together. And the sex is never boring.
    JmgBlair

    Answer by JmgBlair at 10:23 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Sounds like a very good but "settled-in" marriage. Many women would love to have what you have.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:51 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Men are pretty boring when you get right down to it. Maybe they are wired that way so that they can go to their jobs day in and day out to support their families and not go insane.
    jaimie175

    Answer by jaimie175 at 11:07 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • do you feel like you are friends with your husband? would you marry him again ... if you had the chance to do it over? i've been asking myself this alot. low sex drive is common with kids and work, life in general.
    gloags

    Answer by gloags at 11:32 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Marriage, isn't it a bitch? Seriously, this is normal. how old are the kids? Do you ever get away or go on dates or travel or anything? Are there interests you share that you can begin to do again? I've been married 10 years and have been through this a couple times as I see my youth slip away, I have also worried about it. I just think though, the grass isn't greener. i've seen people go to the other side over and over again only to destroy their lives. Do you love him? Did you "know" he was the one? I didn't ask you if you were IN love, I asked if you loved him. This IN love business makes people do stupid things. Love ebbs and flows for LONG periods of time. That is marriage and life. If you moved on your next love could turn out the same way, we aren't meant to be crazy in love every day of our lives. More important things get in the way, kids, sickness, death. That is life. In the interim, start going on dates. Hang in!
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:42 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Men are not boring at all you are just going through a dry spell it is probably your hormones.Did you just have a baby if so that is so normal.Go out on dates my husband and I go out on dates and we have a great sex life we have sex 5 times a weekI .We have three kids and a great life.Sometimes you have to go out and spend time with each other get a babysitter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

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