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What is your stance on the We are just friends phrase?

How would you feel if your DH,BF or SO was always talking to another woman all the time and tells her when you two have a fight or disagreement about something? and vice versa. How would you handle it if you were doing to same?


Asked by soonmommyof3 at 9:57 PM on Mar. 8, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • My dd's bf does this. He calls me and tells me what's up. She doesn't seem to happy about it. I keep telling him to figure it out and work it out with her, not me. I think some men find some women easier to talk with about many things. I'm no threat to my dd. Maybe your guy's friend is no threat to you or your relationship. Maybe she just gives him a different female perspective so he can figure it out with you.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:49 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Depends on how well I knew her. If she were a mutual friends and they had been close for a long time than I think I might be okay with it but if it were just some random chick that he knew and I didn't that I'd have suspicions.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • "Just friends" coming from a man, IMO means he's got someone waiting in the wings should things not work out with his current relationship.

    "Just friends" coming from a woman, IMO means he's either gay or married and she is just a flirt.

    I'm happily married to my Mr. Right, but when I was dating, I NEVER flirted with other men to the point where they thought they had a chance with me--I always kept a certain "distance." When I was single, then of course I flirted with whomever I deemed worthy! LOL :o)

    Answer by LoriKeet at 10:25 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • um, without beating around the bush, I'd say he's on his way out the door. JMO

    I wouldn't go all psycho jealous either, tho, I'd just tell him that your relationship stuff is between you, and he needs to work on your relationship with you. . .this type of bonding doesn't belong

    The her or me tact usually doesn't work.

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:28 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • It would depend on who the woman was. We have some friends that I wouldn't be suspicious about. Like the previous poster said if it were someone I didn't know and wasn't familiar with it would send up some red flags. Now if he was talking to this other person to the extent of ignoring me and cutting into our time then I would be angry no matter who it was.


    Answer by Tawanda74 at 10:29 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • i have heard the "just friends" thing too many times...I honestly think that when your SO has a gril that is just a friend there has to be more going on bewtween them, at least that is what happened to me. I was told after talking to him ans expressing how i felt that he wouldn't stop talking to her because he needed her to be in his life, he went as far as telling me that he loved her....yeah this was one month before our six year wedding anniversary..

    Answer by mandic at 10:32 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Bad sign... I always listen to my friend bitch and moan about his wife and am waiting for him to leave her. Try to slowly without making a big deal in it get him to confide in you again. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • well, i guess i'm a little out of line... but "just friends" can be simply that. i maintain a group of mostly male friends, and we are all just that. no one waiting around for availability, we would be very uncomfortable with such a thought. but we do tell each other just about everything that goes on, and i get frequent frantic "we had a fight" calls... and likewise, when i need some one, they're the first i call. and no, they're not gay. most of them are married and have children, or are divorced with children and have know me for years.
    its like having a really big family, and a bunch of brothers to hang out with... do the sports stuff.. etc. i guess i'm just one of the guys. some of us are like that....

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:19 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Well, it's not a good thing. Those things are private but he shouldn't be talking to her. I could understand a guy friend but a girl isn't very good. Keep your eye on it.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:36 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • well what happend was in the past. I put a stop to it. he no longer talks to her. she started some shit about me talking to her ex bf, I guess she didnt like it when the roles were reversed. oh, well. things are great between hubby and I. We are very close now. I was just wondering what you guys thoughts on the matter would be if it happend to you, I needed to see if I handled it good. I think no for the most part, but it turned out great! To screwed herself.....

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 4:22 AM on Mar. 9, 2009