Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do i deal with this deployment?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 1 year now, and he has been deployed to Kosovo since Nov 1, 2008. Its not Iraq so its not as bad. I know he's safer than most. He's one of those really attractive looking guys that would get hit on if i was standing next to him. They are able to leave base to go chat it up with the locals. Ive heard that females over there are very umm whats this word... aggressive. Do i trust that he'll still be with me when he gets back or should i start looking somewhere else? All opinions PLEASE

 
Thaifalung20

Asked by Thaifalung20 at 12:23 AM on Mar. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Oh and to answer your question, if I was in your position, I wouldn't start looking just because you think he won't be with you when he comes back. He could be thinking of you all this time and can't wait to come back to you but only to find you're with another?

    Then again, Idk what kind of relationship you two have...if you're dating exclusively or just dating....

    sorry I'm not helping much...it's just to me it depends on the situation and I have to try to see it in all angles...=/
    starbucks81

    Answer by starbucks81 at 1:06 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I know it's hard being separated and insecurity and vulnerability in a relationship play a role while your significant one is deployed...but you know him more, do you think he's the type to hook up with another female?
    starbucks81

    Answer by starbucks81 at 12:59 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • You cannot get through a deployment without trusting your SO. Unless he told you that he doesn't want to be with you anymore, I wouldn't look at another male. Since I'm married, even if my hubby told me that he had moved on, I wouldn't even think about another guy until after he got home and we discussed it in person. I don't care how "aggressive" the women are, he's all that matters. Hang in there.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 1:04 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • If you are gonna worry about that, then worry about female soldiers, too. But if you want to have a long time relationship with him, you can't assume the worst. Honey, my HUSBAND is about to deploy. He was in Korea for a year. It ain't easy. Plenty of military people cheat. But NOT ALL of them do. It's not fair to either of you if you start looking now. That really doesn't say a lot about you. Can you not stand to be alone? Then don't date a soldier. Simple. They have TDY's, they go to the field, they deploy. I think that if you are considering looking for someone else then you should worry as much about yourself as you do him. And I think it's pretty crappy of you that you would consider doing that to him. Many men soldiers go away and come back to cheating spouses/SO. I CAN NOT STAND THE WOMEN THAT CHEAT ON THEIR FAITHFUL SOLDIER HUSBANDS.
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 7:38 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • He's your bf not your husband. Live your life. I wouldn't go looking for a replacement for him but meet people and enjoy life. Dating a bf is just that, dating. It's getting to know them to see if they are the right person for you. Being away gives you the opportunity to miss him and remember fond things you did together and mull over if this is the right thing for you. If so, it will grow stronger. If not, he'll fade away. I would work on being the best "me" I could be and be supportive for him though and not worry about him meeting some local over there. Trust in what you have with him. If it's meant to be then it will be.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:44 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN