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Look what I found....

Okay so this happened like months ago, but I wasnt on here then and it hasnt been dealt with...

when cleaning my SD's room one day, I found my SO's dirty magazine behind her bed. i didnt know what to do. i was so freaked out. the only way it could have ended up there is if SD went in our room and got it. when this happened i was having more trouble with SD getting into things she knew she wasnt suppose to so it was pretty easy to think she went in our room and found it. she is nosey. but being mad that she was snooping in our room was not my biggest concern here though. it was that my 8 yr. old SD had at least looked once at this dirty magazine! i never approached her about it because i really didnt know what to say and i knew she would be embarrassed. i did tell her dad, but he didnt really react.

What should i have done then? And what should I do now, if anything?

also, please no bashing that dad had a porn.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Mar. 9, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • HOnestly? Way back in the day circa 1984 (LOL) I was about the same age as your SD. My good friend Michelles mothers boyfriend (lol) had a bunch of porno mags that we did find by being nosey in her room. We mainly just were grossed out by it and made fun of the pictures. :)

    Answer by upintrees at 9:08 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • It's ok honey I think a lot of dads have porn. Including the one in this household. So your daughter is 8, chances are she is curious about sex. Not meaning that she wants to have sex, just wants to know more about it. with that in mind, I think it's too late to do anything about this incident. I would deffinately re inforce the rules. But it sounds like it's time to start talking and explaining as well.

    Answer by anorman08 at 12:31 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • i am not very comfortable with explaining sex to my 8yr. SD - especially without her bringing the subject up to me. I am not even sure how to broach the subject without it sounding wierd. She can be shy about things, so I know she would be VERY uncomfortable. Also, I think that her BM would be VERY upset with me for talking to her about this stuff without consulting her. I never told her about the magazine thing becuase I was freaked out and not sure how to handle it.

    Part of me is very worried about this whole thing because I was molested as a child, so I dont know what is normal, and the first thing I thought when I saw the magazine was that maybe something had happened to her. I know that is probably unlikely, but its just what came to mind. She can be so moody sometimes and I just worry about her. I think its just because of what happened to me though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Well I guess teh next thing to do is get on the same page with dad and bm, and the three of you look into taking her to see a specialist that may be able to tell you if something has happened to her. I still think that curiousity is possible tho too. my girls were all about her age when they started having questions. I was floored at first, but they would tell me that kids at school were talking about it and they didn't know what it was. I decided if talk of sex was going around school, I would rather they learn from me than from other 8 year olds. Good luck.

    Answer by anorman08 at 12:50 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • thank you. it probably is just curiousity, but like i said. i just dont know since its all new to me and my life is sort of colored different than others...

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • My first instinct was what if SO was using it in her room?? Obviously it could have just been a gut reaction but when you mentioned molestation I had to mention what I thought you were saying in the beginning of the post.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Oh NO! SO doesnt even liking changing our baby girl's diaper because it makes him feel uneasy. lol.

    upintrees - thank you. this makes me feel better.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Mar. 11, 2009