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anyone one out there who was beaten while there 9 month old was in the room?

My wx-husband beat me while my 9 month old was in the room and i dont want him to think its okay to hit women when he gets older do you think he was old enough to remember this

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mommytimesto

Asked by mommytimesto at 11:41 AM on Mar. 9, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (14)
  • I don't know. but you can send a clear message to him by putting an end to it now! If it happens now it will happen again. You need to stand up to your husband or get out!! You don't deserve that, and your son deserves to grow up in a home without violence. Please talk to someone about getting out of there. Go to a shelter if you have to. You need to get out, please. For your son's sake.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 11:43 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Probably not, because memory is predicated on the development of language. So even if he was scared, he probably won't be able to recall the event. HOWEVER, just the fear and the atmosphere of violence could affect him negatively. He KNOWS when something is wrong with Mommy. So, please do whatever you can to insure that he is never witness to this type of thing again. I hope you have resources available to you to get you out of that situation, if not, please contact the Salvation Army in your area, they are an invaluable resource of information on community services, and emotional support.
    Jodie118

    Answer by Jodie118 at 11:48 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • That's terrible...I'm so sorry you and your son had to go through that. I don't think he'll remember that. You may want to contact a local battered women's shelter. Even if you don't need to stay there they can offer you support and resources to keep you and your son safe. I volunteered in one for years and they have some very supportive and strong women there.....some have been through DV as well......they will be there for you to give you the help you need.
    deedee3849

    Answer by deedee3849 at 12:02 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I was beaten with a 4yr old in the room. The eintire family sat down with him and explained that its not right to beat a woman (i was pregnant at the time) so we stressed that its even worse when the woman is pregnant. I dont think your 9month old will remember this. But if your this concerned abou it then I would just raise him into learning that its wrong. And he should understand if its what he's raised with. Good luck. If you need to talk about asult and battery I have some numbers and websites you can have. Just message me.
    mommy20081

    Answer by mommy20081 at 12:07 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I don't know if your child will remember that one time, but if you allow it to continue YES they will... I allowed my ex-husband use me as his personal punching bag for 5 yrs before finally walking out in the middle of a winter night. (23 yrs ago)... and taking my 2 dd's one age 4 and the other 4 months old... my now 27 yr old dd can remember what her dad did to mom ... he made it a point to have her watch the beatings to show her that he was in charge of the family...
     I know it's fear holding you there, but there is so much help out there Now than there was then... use it ... bc your child WILL remember soon enough ....
    Good Luck if you want to talk PM me anytime...

    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 12:09 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • No he won't remember it but he will if you keep putting yourself in the same position to have it occur in the future. My kids were much older. It's traumatic for them as well as you. Some states have laws (Failure to Protect) to arrest a mom if she keeps a child in an abusive environment. See if you state has it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:28 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • No he wont remember....do u remember anything from 9 months old?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • It is great that that man is your EX-husband ... if it were me, I would be focussed on the danger to my child of being at the mercy of my ex-husband during a visit. I mean, at what point will the child become old enough for the man to decide it's time to show him "who's boss". So I wouldn't let the man be alone with a child.
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 3:58 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I will tell you this: your child probably won't remember a beating at that age. However an abusive relationship can lead to possible death.. and if it happens again, who's to say that won't be what happens..
    your child will definitely grow up remembering that. Take the right steps in getting away from the abuse before it affects your life and your sons anymore than it already has. For your safety as well as your sons.. just because it's just you now, doesn't mean he won't take it out on the kid later as well. Any form of abuse is extremely bad.. dont' justify it, take action and seperate yourself from it completely.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 6:50 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • if you have to.. go to the social services office, and they will direct you to the proper places to go to get help.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 6:53 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

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