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It's ok for a husband to befriend a single mom and let her hand out with is family

He has known her for 3yrs but recently started to invite her and her son over. I said it was ok, am wrong not wanting her around?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Mar. 9, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Our relationship is not very secure we had seperated once before and in a few weeks he had already met some one. Durning the seperation he was telling this single mom everything that was going on. So I feel she come in with the upper hand and made me uncomfortable....
    shymommy522

    Answer by shymommy522 at 12:14 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I think you should feel her out. He may just have a good heart and have sympathy for her. That so sounds like something my husband would do. Its not like he's inviting himself over HER house or inviting her over when you're not home. She could end up being a good friend of yours.
    Ultimately if youre just not comfortable with it for valid or insecure reasons, you should have the last say.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 11:48 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Personally I wouldn't allow it. I'm funny about things like that, unless it was a friend of -ours- that was single. But if it was my boyfriend/husband's friend, and I'm unsure of the girl, I wouldn't allow a chance for things to get too, well, comfortable. Maybe a playdate, at the park, or in a group... neutral settings... sure. In the home? That's a tad bit too close for my taste. But each to their own. It's a matter of personal preference and comfort.
    ShadesofGrey

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 11:55 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • If you are confident in your marriage then it should be fine but as my grandmother used to say "never invite temptation home with you".
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:55 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • My husband wouldn't do that. He might tell me there was a woman that needs a friend right now and ask me to give her a call or something. But he would not bring her around unless it was me inviting her over. I trust my husband and all but I just feel there are certain things that are inappropriate. It's hard to give an opinion on this without knowing your husband. Some men are more sensitive to other people's wants and needs. Maybe he just wants you to have a relationship with her because she needs friends. Who knows?
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 12:02 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • If your husband does this kind of thing all the time, making sure people are taken care of or he just has a good heart, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Maybe voice your concerns to him. You are his wife after all and your feelings should come first. But if you guys talk about it and then you're still not comfortable with it, ask if maybe there isn't another way to help her out, like introducing her to some of your other women friends who are single who might want to hang out with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Several of my husband's long term friends are women, a couple of whom are single moms. I wouldn't really be comfortable with him hanging out with one them one on one, but I have no problem with them coming over and hanging out. The kids play, the grownups talk. I have no problem with this and don't think it's weird to be ok with it.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:12 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I think he is probably just trying to be helpful to her but if it is something you are uncomfortable with you need to talk to him. Find out why he is suddenly inviting her over more. He may not realize its a problem.
    Chandra034

    Answer by Chandra034 at 12:14 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Put a stop to it. You don't want to go through what I went through. He should be talking with you about setting up play dates between you and her and the kids. Him bringing her over is out of bounds in your home.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Mar. 9, 2009