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Anyone know how to help a teen adjust to a big move - from one state to another ?

Recently moved to CA and my 16 year old is having a hard time with the change. She is a junior in High School and finding it hard to adjust.

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Mar. 9, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  • That's a real sucky time to move your child. Depending on the situation, I would have let her finish high school then move. Making friends in a new school is hard, especially toward the end of your high school career when you are trying to fit in with others who have been together for the last 2 1/2 years or more. Is your DD very sociable or is she more shy? If she is real sociable, she will make friends, it will just take time. If she is more introverted, it may be difficult for her. See if there are sports or clubs at the school she can get involved in. See if the school has a website and see what opportunities are available to her at the school. I wouldn't be too pushy or overbearing though, especially at her age. Last thing she needs at a new school is "mommy showing up and embarrassing her".

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I moved three kids at the beginning of highschool, middle school and college and again twice later for one in the last year of high school and twice in seventh grade for my middleschooler and midcollege for my colleger. I did the moves to better our lives for those of us who needed it each time and the rest of us were steady. I did all that at the different times to make my family stronger. Volunteer work is needed every where - every where. Get her involved with volunteer work locally or nationally - special olympics and other such organizations need volunteers. Hospitals love volunteers. Lots of high schools have social clubs dedicated to volunteer work. Many women's groups at churches love the much younger ladies. Libraries and bookstores always love volunteer readers too. Any of that might not get her new best friends but it'll get her into a healthy group,lifestyle. I let my kids email and talk to old friends.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I almost think that by her having the e-mail and texting on her phone that it is making it harder for her to make new friends. I moved my senior year of HS and didn't have the e-mail, phones etc so I had no choice but to make new friends. She was very much into sports at her old school and now she says she doesn't even want to try them here which is very disapointing since she was pretty good. With the recent economy both my husband and I were laid off and he got a job here so it wasn't like we just decided to move her.

    Answer by my3girls1984 at 1:27 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • my parents moved me the same time, i hated it and i hated them for it. there really isnt anything you can do, its a horrible situation to be put in.

    Answer by haydens_mom08 at 1:36 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I m in the same situation. Its not fun having to move and no one just chooses it. Its usually because of something that HAS to be done. I wish I did this last year before she started high school. We are considering moving to the next county over and my dd is having a fit. I feel guilty but we live in a large home in an affluent city and we are wanting to scale down our lives to make changes for the slumping economy. We are sure that there will come a time when we can no longer afford this home or our lifestyle and we are trying to get ahead of the situation. We are also planning on homeschooling and not throwing our kids into another govt school system. She is struggling with that as well. I am willing to let her do whatever she wants, but I don't think shes going to be able to stay at her current school. Its just too far.

    Answer by momofsaee at 6:09 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • We have had to move because of my husband's job and it was hard on my 16yr old, we moved during the summer so it was a little easier plus I flew him back to Texas so he could go on vacation with his best friend and then I flew his best friend to us over Christmas break to visit.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 8:51 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Is she on myspace? If so she can do a search for kids her age in the town you moved to, or even the school. We just moved to CA with 2 teenagers as well and my kids made a couple of friends a piece online before they even started school, it was awesome.

    Answer by krisr169 at 7:01 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

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