Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

If you were (GOD FORBID) raped and became pregnant would you give the baby up for adoption or would you keep him/her?

I know this is a weird question but my DH and I were talking about this a while back and it's kind of been on my brain sence then so I was wondering what your opinions and thoughts are.

If you were (GOD FORBID) raped and became pregnant would you give the baby up for adoption or would you keep him/her? We don't believe in the morning after pill or abortion so we both agree that we wouldn't choose that.

I personally don't know what I would do. Yes the baby is biologically connected to man who did the worst thing I could imagine but the baby would also be biologically mine. It's still MY child. I don't know if I could give the baby up but my DH said he doesn't think he could raise that mans child.

Again I KNOW THIS IS WEIRD but we were watching some show a while back where this came up and started talking about if we were in that situation. What are your thought and opinions?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Mar. 9, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (10)
  • my mom was raped by her step dad at 15 she gave the baby up for adoption and if i was raped i would do the same because no baby deserves to die in my opinion even though it resulted from a horrible circumstance. abortion is never forgivable
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • That happen to my friend as a teen. She was raped by her mom's BF at 14. By the time she knew for sure it was too late to have an abortion. She was ready to give the baby up for adoption b/c of the situation and b/c she was a freshman in high school living in foster care. But when she saw her daughter she couldn't do it. She ended up being a mom at 15 b/c of it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I would deffinatly keep the baby. I dont believe in the morning after pill or abortion either, so adoption would be my only choice, but that wouldnt happen. It would be part my baby, i made it.. i carried it for 9 months, gave birth, and am connected to it. Plus, why should you punish the baby.. (not letting it live with his mom) because of somehting is bastard dad did?
    Would he or she know his dad? NO
    Would they think that my hubby was its dad? YES, untill they were old enough to understand what happened.


    NOTE: I do not mean that every person who puts their baby up for adoption is punishing their child.
    Had to make that clear :D
    mommyofAurora

    Answer by mommyofAurora at 1:47 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I know I would never have an abortion,unless it was incest,and the baby would be severly handicapped.but until you have really been there,it would really be hard to say exactly what you would do.
    Val504

    Answer by Val504 at 1:52 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I would probably abort it. I wouldn't want to go through a pregnancy with another man's child-that would be hard on the whole family.
    JennRN09

    Answer by JennRN09 at 1:58 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I wanted to add-that rape can be very traumatic experience-I wouldn't want a reminder.
    JennRN09

    Answer by JennRN09 at 1:59 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • See I have been through a bit of sexual abuse that resulted in no pregnancy and it'll be in my head for the rest of my life. Every time my DH touches me in a way that even remotely is similar to what happen when I was a teenager I think about it. I still feel dirty sometimes and still has times when all I want to do is jump in a boiling shower and shrub myself clean.

    Pregnant or not, Baby or not you don't need a reminder. It will always be there. It will never go away. Trust me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • we have talked about it briefly and it would have been a HUGE blow to us, seeing as how we tried for almost a year, and was on fertility meds for a while before we got pregnant without meds(THANK GOD) it would have devastated us for me to get pregnant by someone else... we would have/still would opt for adoption. I am pro-life, and just because the dad is an A** and a criminal I WILL NOT punish an innocent BABY for that. if for some reason we were to change our mind, keeping the baby would always be an option, but it would more than likely end in adoption.. I have been affected by sexual abuse and it was not/would not be an easy choice to make. and a person can never say for sure till they are in that situation.
    TippyD

    Answer by TippyD at 2:54 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • id give the kid up, because id fear that when i looked at him or her i would be reminded of the situation and id fear that i wouldnt be able to love him or her as much as he or she desreved because of how the baby was concieved. . . thats just me though
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I would have to do adoption. I agree that aborting the baby would not be an option for me, but I think that I may not be a good mother to the baby due to circumstances far far beyond his/her control. I would certainly request that the adoptive parents be capable of contacting me in the case that the child wanted to know where it came from. Either way it would be a very hard decision. One that might change were i really in it, rather than it being a theoretical...
    LuckyClown

    Answer by LuckyClown at 5:10 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.