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Why do people make it sound so easy?

I went to church yesterday and the service was about forgiveness. I could go on forever, but not enough room. I have had this burden in my heart for years toward something that my father did to my mother when I was a child that has affected my entire life. It is so painful and I finally, after years, confronted him with it for possible closure and the bastard denied the whole thing and told me I was mental and crazy and needed therapy! That made it worse! How can I just forgive him and let it go and move on? It's not that easy. The pastor says that he is living his life the way he wants and I am the one who is miserable and it isn't worth holding on. I need to give it to God. I know that's true, but why is it so hard?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Mar. 9, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (7)
  • Well,first of all,I am very sorry for what you went through.I was molested,and raped from the time I was 6 until I left home at 15.I have the same problem,what I went through,has affected my whole life,my marriage,I was afraid to let my kids out of my sight.etc.anyway as a Christian,I realize I need to forgive.but everytime I hear something on TV ,or read something,about a child being abused,my blood boils.I cannot forgive,I have tried and tried.I go to therapy,take meds.Your pastor is right,mine has said the very same thing,they are living their life,and we are the ones carrying this crap,but unless you have ben there,it is a lot easier said than done. Good Luck to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I know I don't know what happened, but he did it your mom - not you. The forgiveness is hers to offer not your's. Own the things that belong to you. I know that sounds simple, but it actually is. And, as far as forgiveness goes, you give it and then you forget it.

    Answer by jesse123456 at 2:26 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • It involved me and he did do it to me because I was in the room when it happened and I remember the whole ordeal. It's been in my mind and replays over and over. I can't get it out of my head. So yes, he did it to me to because he allowed me to witness it. I was only 5 years old but still remember it like it was yesterday.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I was in the same boat as you. My dad beat me my mom and my brother. He beat my brother so bad when he was only 13 MONTHS OLD that it gave him permanent brain damage. Now my brother is 18 and he's a special child b/c of my dad. He tried to kill my mom when she was pregnant with me. My dad killed himself when I was 8. It took me a long time to forgive him and I proise, the moment I did it was like a HUGE burden was lifted off my shoulders. I didn't do it for him, I did it for myself, my husband and my kids. I had major trust issues b/c of it and it intervered with my mariiage. DH was understanding and very patient with me, but I know it was hell on him too. I don't have the magic words to help you through this. I really wish I did! All I did was pray. And pray. And pray. IT took years of praying. But I'm so glad I made the decision to try. Just don't give up. Talk to your mom and your pastor when you fell overwhelmed.

    Answer by renea20 at 2:46 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Take it one day at a time. And understand that it is a long process to reach forgiveness, but if you keep at it, you will never regret it! Good luck on your journey, and I wish you all the best!

    Answer by renea20 at 2:47 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • It's suppose to be promise, not proise. Sorry.

    Answer by renea20 at 2:48 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I'm very sorry you are going through a tough emotional time right now. I do understand your confusion and hurt feelings, though. I know a lot of people have at least one person they need to forgive in their lives, but that first step is always the most difficult. When we don't take that step we are being stubborn and showing God that we don't believe HIs way is the best way. I know the answers because I've been dealing with forgiveness, or lack of it, for over half of my life and know that I am putting a huge boulder between myself and my relationship with God for not doing this act He requests.
    I wonder, though....does forgiveness count if you let it go in your heart but don't speak directly to the person because of the fear that is embedded from years of abuse? I wonder if God will allow that type of forgiveness?

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 7:23 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

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