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If you were in my shoes...

okay so my Childs father has to pay me $400 a month child support. He has requested to know exactly what I have been putting it towards (little does he know its sitting in savings and hasn't been touched). so a couple of questions even if you are married and don't recieve support, if you were in my shoes what would you really spend the money on, and do I really have to tell him? He feels it should only go to diapers, toys, clothes, formula. I feel if I want to use it to pay the rent and utilities thats fine, what do you all think about it???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Mar. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • You don't have to tell him. Hell. Just be glad he is paying it. The rent and utilities help your kid too, so he can't be mad about that.
    peppermintmocha

    Answer by peppermintmocha at 2:12 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • It all has to do with YOUR budget and should be none of his business, unless he's voluntarily paying you and it wasn't court ordered.
    Trinjo

    Answer by Trinjo at 2:13 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Is he paying per court agreement...if so it is none of his business. $400.00 is peanuts where ever you come from...Rent, utlities, food, car expense, the list goes on and on..
    I would not tell him anything but the fact that childsupport is never enough money.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:21 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Child support is for all things the child may or will need, clothes, food, toys, and yes even their living expences, like rent, and utilities. My hubby and I had to pay he 2nd wife $750.00 a month for one child. We wanted to know what the heck she used it for, but the judge said she didn't have to keep a tally or report to the court how she spent the money. And in one sence it, she shouldn't have to report, but on the other, we were paying so much for one child, meanwhile he had custody of his older two from his 1st marriage living with us, and we didn't feel that they even got close to what we had to give her. So yea he's going to ask, but in all reality it's none of his business, he should just be happy his child is being well cared for. I'd tell him it goes to everything and anything she may need or use, even rent, utilities and driving cost.
    Vanessannd

    Answer by Vanessannd at 2:21 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • DH goes through this every so often. BM pays 105 and she needs to know where it goes to. So I drew her up an outline of our budget and showed her how much we spend on his doctor prescribed meds and vitamins alone is about $50 a month. I only had to do it once, but you don't have to do it period. The child needs a roof and heat and running water right? Then why does it matter as long as you aren't spending it on fast food and beer, its all going to help him out. So what does it matter if you spend $400 out of your paycheck for clothes and diapers and food and then use his $400 for rent?
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 2:21 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Yes, I think if you pay rent it gives your child a place to live, if you pay utilites it gives your child hot water, warm home, etc. Just say sure I buy clothes, diapers, etc and pay the rent or you can say I have been saving it for her need s in the future. He sounds like a control freak, hmmm, maybe that is why you are not together. LOL> Tell him whatever you want even if it is buzz off.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 2:38 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Supporting a child includes the cost of housing, food, child care, diapers, clothing, utlities, gas money to get your child to and from day care, etc. It would also include things like birthday parties or treating your child to a movie or maybe a dinner out every now and then. There are a lot of things that go into raising a child. As much as he may not like it though he is not legally allowed to dictate where that money goes once you receive it. You do not have to account for any of the money spent or saved.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 2:42 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I can understand why he could be concerned. My sisters and her boyfriend never went to court, but he pays for alot for my neice. For awile he was just handing her the money, and she would splurge it on clothes or going out, never to anyone's knowledge spent it on their daughter. Now he goes and pays for things himself. He goes to her nursery school to pay the tuition. He buys her clothes.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 2:59 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • You don't have to tell him, but as someone whose hubby pays CS it is only right that you put that money towards the child helping to pay rent and utlities is part of that. Now if you are going to give the child the money in the savings for college then that is great, but if you are saving for a vacation or something then that is not cool. He shouldn't be giving you money to go to Disneyland. As long as you are not asking him to pay for things like clothing, parties, etc. because that is what that money should help pay for. We know that SS's BM doesn't need the money we give her and she takes SS out to eat all the time and they go on trips a lot and as long as she doesn't as for extra money we don't care. But in our home SS gets the bare min because we are broke. He gets to go to the movies with his mom and spend lots of money in her home so we don't feel bad if we wait to do those things when he isn't around
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • You should not use it so that you can have the best clothing, shoes and spa days for yourself. Any mother who does that is abusing it. It should help the child, not the mother.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

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