Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Anyone else have too big a heart? HELP!!!

I have a sincere problem, needing someone with some knowledge... doesn't even have to be in relation to horses, just in "keeping" property for someone else.

Feb 9, I helped an old friend out, found a place to keep his 12yo DD's filly. Filly is 10mos old, bow-legged, has 2 blue eyes and is blind in one. I talked to another friend, ended up paying him $55 to keep this horse at his barn for 10days, feeding her=$60, worming her=$13, cleaning her stall=2hrs. (I'm 34wks pg) The barn needed the stall for his son, so I called the friend. He still had no place to put her. I had DH put up a hotwire fence that ended up costing $150, plus his 5+ hrs to put it in at my dad's place, cutting my siblings' dirtbike track in half. This filly has jumped barbed wire 3x now, is awful chewed up, and since Feb 9, they have only visited her once, and only called to check on her once after that.

(continued in answer...)

Answer Question
 
matobe

Asked by matobe at 2:43 PM on Mar. 9, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 21 (10,174 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I know they don't have a place to put her, or the money to put her in a stable, but I'm feeling more and more used with every day I have to stand out there and feed MY horses and make sure she doesn't get in their feed. I've told him the concerns I have about her quality of life, and the fence jumping, but he keeps telling me, "I can't take that horse from Ivanna. I just can't do it."

    I'm at my wit's end, because I've put in over $250 on a crippled horse that doesn't belong to me. I feel that is enough, but because they don't have a place to keep her, or a trailer to come get her, it's literally up to me to find somewhere and take her for them. But then what? She won't be taken care of, etc. If I had not been at the barn, she would have stood in that stall for all 10 days, not fed, not watered, not exercised, standing in her own poop.

    How do you tell someone you can't do it anymore?
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 2:46 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I think you just have to tell them. If they can't afford their horse they need to sell it, give it away, or have it put down. Its a sad reality that when we can't take care of what we own, we lose it. If you want compensation for what you've spent make sure you have reciepts and let them know you need to be repaid by a particular date.

    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 2:55 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Ohhh. can't the owner's daughter take responsibility and come over and feed, groom, ride etc? or maybe it'd be a good project for a 4H group. For 4H call your local county for your county's 4H number or google it. What about girl scouts or boy scouts taking on the care of the horse for a boy scout's eagle project or special badge or community service for girl scouts or boy scouts? Oh mama my heart goes out to you!! I feel myself like God takes strays and slam dunks right in front of me. Keep looking mama - don't stress do slow breathing to stay calm. but make calls for help. How old is the owner's daughter?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • she's 12, can't drive, mom's an addict and is unreliable, and dad's gone 6days in a row as a truck driver. they don't have the money to put into her... and i have no idea who to go to to talk about getting her out of our yard... i really wanted to help, and God laid it on my heart to do so at the time, but I've got a baby coming in less than 6wks and have my own things to worry about now...
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 2:58 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • she has to go. i don't want to walk out to feed one day and find her hung up in the fence... or have a million different kids show up at the house to take care of her for me... it's scary. i wish she would jump the fence and run away... but she always ends up on the back porch!
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 3:00 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Just like you did just now. You say, "I was glad to help, and I'm sorry I can't help more. But I am just tapped out. I think I've helped more than anyone could ever ask, and I need to be done now." And stick to it. It's nice that you are so caring, but you are being taken advantage of here, big time. Remember, part of being a loving person is loving yourself, which means drawing boundaries and sticking to them. Since you are concerned that the horse will be neglected if returned to his care (and I would be concerned, too, given what you've said), I think I would consider calling the ASPCA, explaining everything, and see if they can offer any assistance in placing the horse somewhere safe, where it will recieve adequate care.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 3:03 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • we don't have an spca... we have a dog pound. if they don't come get her or offer to give her up, what happens? i can't take the time out to take her to a sale, let alone the fact that if she does go to sale because of her age and conditions she will be sent to the kill pen..
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 3:05 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I would call a local horse rescue in your area, if not then the humane society in your area. Tell them your concerns, the problems etc... Hopefully they can help you...GL
    4x4mum

    Answer by 4x4mum at 3:05 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • It was very nice of you to step in and help out. your friends sound like they are not trying very hard to find a place for the horse- or take care of it. I would definately make them aware that you are pregnant and cannot take on this horse any more. If they can't transport it- then they need to find a place for the horse to be taken to. I would give them XXX days -and let them know if the horse is not gone by then you will contact the humane society to come get this 'abandoned' animal. I would also let them know how much $ you put into the horse. You could try calling the SMILES organization, scouts, any horse organizations, 4H, the humane society.... I hope all works out!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 3:09 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Just say, I am way out of my league here. I have put more money into this than I really have to spare and I cannot physically do this anymore. Give your friend a specified amt of time to make arrangements or let the friend know you will be forced to make them for him. Say this very nicely then do what you have to do.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 3:11 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN