Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Online dating

I just responded to an add online for the first time. I sent him a pic, didn't use my name and haven't told him exactly what town I live in. Im not sure how to go about getting to know someone online. Has anyone ever done this, it seems so scary to me that I prob shouldn't have done it. I know Im a chicken, but I don't want to be a fool. What should I know about online dating from someone who has done it?

Answer Question
 
ria7

Asked by ria7 at 3:01 PM on Mar. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Level 23 (15,224 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I wouldn't do it. I don't think there is anyway to really get to know someone online and know that it is the real them. I would stick to meeting people the old fashioned way. GL!
    kboney29

    Answer by kboney29 at 3:03 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Be smart, don't give out anything other than first name and maybe the town you live in, but that's it. If it's a really small town, give him a general area like Southern Oklahoma or something like that. Just talk to each other like you would if you were in person. Likes, dislikes, hobbies, anything. If you have a great connection, talking with come natural with the person. Online dating isn't a bad thing at all. I met my husband that way. I was just tired of the type of men I kept finding so I thought I would try a new place. When you do decide to finally meet, make it a public place with security cameras like a mall or Walmart. I had friends watching from a distance to make sure everything was okay and he didn't know I knew the people so I felt safe. Be smart about it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I also met my husband (a doctor) online...at Match.com! We emailed and sent pictures (other than the ones we used in our profiles) for a couple of weeks, then talked on the phone for about 2 weeks more. We finally met and had our first date (on my birthday!) at a REALLY nice restaurant. We took it slow, and just tried learning everything about one another.

    We dated for 5 months, then we got engaged, and married 8 months thereafter...that was 9 years ago! :o)

    You have to be honest in what you like and dislike, and more importantly you have to DEMAND the same in the person you are interested in! Ask a million questions, and question any inconsistencies! Don't be afraid to get his views/opinions on "hot topic" issues--better to know up front than after you become emotionally invested!

    Bottom line, you should ENJOY each others company, but be your OWN people at the same time with your OWN interests, careers, and friends!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 3:27 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Is he someone that lives near you or a long ways away?

    I would stick to emails and phone calls for a long time before meeting in person, try to see if you have any chemistry besides the physical at first. If you enjoy just talking to him and learning about each other, do that until you decide to meet in person. In other words, don't rush things.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Men who date on line are usually hiding something. Or there is something wrong with them. Stick to the real world. At least that way you know what you're getting into.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 4:15 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Girl i have never had a good relationship with someone from online, not men anyway, i have met wonderful women as friends and yes some crazy ones as well!
    camtri3

    Answer by camtri3 at 4:30 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Online dating is just another tool to meet people for the purpose of dating. And all these negative things people say just aren't any more true than meeting people other ways "in the real world". Online dating IS the real world. And a great way of meeting really great guys. I met my boyfriend 2 years ago and he is a corporate executive, kind, funny, compassionate and wonderful. I've met and spent time with his whole family including his daughters and he with mine. you cannot generalize any method of meeting for the purposes of dating. You just gather as much information about a person upfront and you meet for the first time at a coffee shop or public place. Use your good judgement and common sense. The guys I met before him were nice guys too. I never felt like any guy I met for a date was scary or something bad about them. I used match.com and was happy I did. It worked out really well for me and my boyfriend!
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 6:07 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Hey don't listen to the "don't do it's"!! I met an ex who is now a Pastor and a really great friend online, a best friend (best friend I've EVER had), and my husband ALL online! The catch is its better to just meet people online as friends rather than "to date" so that things happen naturally and not forced. Talk alot online and then when the time is right you'll start talking on the phone. you'll know if its right or wrong. People are right to suggest usuing commen sense and good judgement...thats just what you should do with strangers no matter where you meet them. I hope it works for you!
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 6:50 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • And Chrissy thats not true of all men at all. You could say the same thing for women if you're going to say it. The people I became closest with online, including my husband, we told more about ourselves and got into deeper conversations than we would have in person. I feel I even got to know them better because I wasn't as focused on physical apperance. I could be really shallow years ago so that was great for me. And if you talk to them long enough online you'll get a taste of their true self. And I'm talking legals and legals of online messages, notes and emails, lol. Not just "hey i'm single, cute, a great guy who would never hurt you lets get together tonight".
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 6:54 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I have met many good guys from the internet some are creeps but if u use ur best judgement then u should be fine. If u talk to them online and then on the phone before u meet then u should be ok.
    i have never met a man from online that i didnt first talk on the phone to.
    I also like to use webcams too to see the tace behind the typing and voice
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.