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Are you willing to take on the entire "growing old together" thing...with ALL that it entails?

I've always fancied the ideas of growing old with my husband. I spent the weekend with my grandparents, my grandpa is going down hill and my grandma, bless her heart, has become his primary caregiver. She has to bathe him, wipe him, dress him, hold a pee pitcher so he can pee in it....he falls a lot so she has to help him up....and I realized how deep a love you have to be in and how committed to be with someone through all this.

It's hard for me to imagine my husband and I growing old, I think it's going to be hard for me to see my strong handsome husband become weak, old and unable to take care of himself. Or vice versa....

Do you think you will be able to do it? I guess it's kind of an odd question and maybe should be more of a little journal entry about my reflections..lol

 
munch12502

Asked by munch12502 at 3:15 PM on Mar. 9, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 1 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • When my Dad was loosing his battle with cancer it was my sister who stepped in to care for him. This was admirable as my sister was not his natural child. My brothers were too busy and I was 6,000 miles away. The task of caring for him was not pleasant but she did this for him as my Mother was not able (He was her carer).
    I would do anything for my husband as I know he would for me. I couldn't turn the care of any of my family over to a stranger for fear of their embarrassment. My dad was a very proud man. He was embarrassed that my sister had to do these unpleasant duties for him let alone a stranger. Someone who loves you has a deepened empathy than that of a stranger. The only time I would consider turning his care over to someone else was if I couldn't physically cope AND he had become so lost in his mind that he didn't know who I was anyway!
    In sickness and in health!
    Grammy066

    Answer by Grammy066 at 3:34 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I will do it for my husband, but he for me no. Women relatives and my daughters, my son will guide me in my olden years.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • You can bet on it. I took the vow and I have to live with it.
    mom_wrhsc

    Answer by mom_wrhsc at 3:19 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Without a doubt. I've already been the primary for someone I love as they slowly died, so I know what it entails. I think it seems more terrible than it really is. You just do what has to be done. I was grateful to be the one doing all those things for my mother when she had cancer and was in her last weeks. It was an intimate and loving experience that I got to share with her, icky as it sometimes was, and I was honored to do it.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 3:19 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • We've been married for 12 years almost and I would do those things because we have been through so much together. The kid's births, raising, job losses, family member losses, the day to day hard ships. That's how I look at it and how I was raised. You take the good w/ the bad. After you have been together a long time, you will see, it doesn't sound so bad.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 3:19 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Yes, I will be there for my husband no matter what. He has some medical problems now and there's days I have to be his eyes, ears and everything else. He works and supports me and our 3 boys, so taking care of him when he's old is the least I can do.
    A friend of mine has an ex husband she left shortly after he had a brain bleed which left him crippled and not able to take care of hisself. They were both in their 30's and after seeing everything it took to care for him, she left him. I was horrified at her decision!
    BrendaMomOf3

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 3:24 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • yes.
    Ithink it's a beautiful thing. Working in a nursing home I saw couples grow old together. It's beautiful
    ColtsFan1912

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 3:27 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I will be there for my husband. I will wipe his stinky bum, and I will love him until the day we die. I just can't imagine how hard it is. My grandma is a trooper....but she lost her 2 best friends this year and now this with her husband. She's in counseling now because she's depressed and her counselor says she is mourning her husband, even though he's not dead...because she's mourning the life they had together and the man he used to be.She's mourning because their live together is almost over and it happened before she even realized it was time. They both feel so young but they're trapped in bodies that just don't work like they used to,
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 3:31 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Thats why we married each other, I watched my father take care of my Mom when she was at her worst and dying and I hoped one day I would find a love like they had... Well I have and I thank God for him everyday.... BTW , this was a great question...
    4x4mum

    Answer by 4x4mum at 3:32 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • My fiance is 28 and i'm only 20 so we have awhile but I know I could do it. I don't know if he could though. I was changing my grandma's colostomy bag when she had colon cancer and I was in 2nd grade. She'd call me into the bathroom with her to change it because I actually liked to do it. I also helped clean her bedsores when she got bad enough that she couldn't get out of bed and was in the room when she died. It's not much different than taking care of a baby, you wipe them and help them go to the bathroom, feed them if they can't do it themselves. I know I would .
    bassyentihw

    Answer by bassyentihw at 3:33 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

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