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not so helpful other half?

Anybody come home from the hospital with there child and expect all this help then got none? My fiancee means well but isn't helping. And its impossible to wake him up in the middle of the night. I could hit him (and have) and he still doesn't wake up.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on Mar. 9, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (6)
  • Men are wimps when it comes to waking up at night to tend to the baby.

    Sit him down and discuss how difficult it is for you right now...you just gave BIRTH, are in A LOT of pain, are EXTREMELY overwhelmed and would REALLY appreciate HELP.

    Put your foot down at night when he "pretends" to be sleeping...he's waiting to see if you'll get up and deal with the baby. Don't and insist that he does every now and then. If he's working that may be why he thinks he doesn't have to help out as much but that doesn't absolve him from any baby care. Like I said, INSIST next time and don't give in.
    Anjeey

    Answer by Anjeey at 4:42 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Yep. My husband didnt even stay home with me after I came home. My granny did.I understand, some have to be taught. I'm working on almost 7 months and I'm still teaching it just doesnt come natrualy to some men. They have to be taught and shown what todo. It will get better.Just show him what to do and how to do it.
    TristansMommy16

    Answer by TristansMommy16 at 4:43 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • omg mine was the same way lol. i sat him down and explained it to him and every time i talk to him he would say 'ok im sorry i understand' but the next night when it was his turn to get up with the baby he would throw a fit again like always, and eventually it became just easier for me to get up then to deal with two whining babyies! lol. i know its not funny its really really frustrating but im right there with ya! just keep poking the bear so to speak i guess. =)
    disheveled

    Answer by disheveled at 5:23 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Mine was like that, too. I was recovering from a traumatic c-section, and trying to care for a colicky newborn. My fiance was no help whatsoever, day or night. It got so bad that I ended up partially moving to my parents house so I could get enough help to recover. I hate to say, he didn't change until my son was sitting up, babbling, and whatnot.. so six months before I saw any improvements. Now he does his part without any fuss and is actually a good dad. I don't know what it is, but I suspect some sort of depression on his behalf, or denial. I don't think he realized how much work he had set himself up for! Give it time. Keep giving him duties. My fiance's duty is the bedtime/nighttime rountine and getting up through the night... at least a diaper change and a bottle through the day. Not much, but enough for... for me, I guess. He fussed and complained... but enjoys his time with the baby now. :)
    ShadesofGrey

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 6:34 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • My boyfriend is the same way. We love eachother and he loves my son but is NO help with him. He's getting payback now because DS is so attached to me he cries if I give him to my boyfriend. hehe (He's in that clingy stage)
    AidensMommy608

    Answer by AidensMommy608 at 6:40 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • That sounds just like my husband. My daughter could be screaming at the top of her lungs and he will not budge at night or early in the morning. He helps with diaper changing every once in a while. He loves to play with her though. But if she's fussy he won't have anything to do with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:59 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

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