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My 17 year old daughter is cutting school

I am a single parent so this is very tough. Recently, especially this semester, my daughter, 17, goes to school in the morning and leaves after 3rd period. Then she hangs out with her best friend, 18 years old who stopped going to school when she was 16. The last 2 weeks it has really escalated. Her grades are almost all F's.

I took her laptop top, there have been meetings at her school about this. I just put another call into her school counseling and waiting for them to call back. I have taken away lots of privileges and nothing seems to phase her. I told her I will no longer give her rides to work as well. She works part time, does work experience for school credits.

I'm in California and looking for any ideas anyone might know about this. I guess I could call the police or their truancy dept? Or maybe the school has to report it? I'm a little lost here but desperate to get her to stay in school.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Mar. 9, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • The school will eventually report it to the truancy officer if she doesn't get her act together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • yeah anon is right..the school will report her and a officer will come to the house and pick her up and bring her to a truancy center...(speaking from experience) why don't u call her friend and tell her friend she's not a loud to hang around ur child anymore?!I would do whatever it takes to get my kid off to school and do good..take her phone away DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!TRY TALking to the school and ask them if they can talk to her..get her whatever it takes don't give up...

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • yeah, and not far down the road will be her very own vacation from school in the form of expulsion... I suggest looking into a school that better suits her needs... ask what she wants to do with her life- find a vocational program that carries a program of interest to her- enroll in online home schooling- obviously normal school is not working for her, and it doesn't for all kids. There are several different avenues she can try before giving up entirely... if she is 17 and has a brain (which she is apparently not using in it's full capacity) look into having her take the GED or GED classes... In this economy a high school diploma or GED are necessary for even the lowest of jobs... I would definitely cut out her work if she can't be responsible for school. she has to have her priorities straight. Good luck momma. I hope it works out

    Answer by LuckyClown at 5:16 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I did the same thing when I was her age and what worked for me was when my mom started making me stay home all weekend, took my cell phone away, and took away my computer privelleges (spelling, sorry). Take away everything she has and she should get her act together

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 5:19 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Heres the thing.....You can invoke all kinds of consequences and literally take everything from her, but this is a choice that shes going to have to make. Does she want to be a loser and be working at the local dollar store all her life and get stuck with a couple of kids with baby daddy drama or does she want to finish her education so that she can AT MINIMUM go to a community college or trade school. Its her choice, but you do not have to participate with her. I would not pay for her car, her cell phone, her outings....NOTHING. I would also demand that if she plans on not going to school, then she needs to pay rent because shes wanting to be an adult. I would also let her know that shes going to take all and any consequences that come from the state because of her truancy. Its her choice. Now is it going to hurt like hell watching this??? Yes, it is, but its got to be done.

    Answer by momofsaee at 6:04 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • There are a lot more things I could take away from her and doing so will really freak her out. I can ask her boss to let her go because it's interfering with school and ask her uncle to stop paying her cell phone bill. Then she would be broke with no phone. No laptop. I don't know if this would make her go to school. I just don't want it to backfire on me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:25 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • set her down and ask her what her plan is. maybe you can set her down with a consulor at school. something is makeing her not want to go to school and i thing that you need to find out why she is not wanting to go. i am a beliver that you can demand a troubled teen do anything you have to make them think that it is there idea that they are going to do what they need to do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Here is what I would do....

    I would have a one on one serious conversation with her..
    I would tell her by law she has to follow YOUR rules.. And if she contine to skip school than you WILL call the police and tell them to take her to boot camp. By sending her to boot camp she WILL finish high school or get her GED... No doubt she will finish school.
    She can take her butt to school and ATTEND class.Dont wait until the school to make a move.. You make the first move therefore, she will know you are serious...I know that it will hurt you to your heart to send your child away..But it will hurt you a lot worse to see your child throwing her life away. As of now you are in CHARGE.... you have all the CARDS in your hands. At times our Children are so dam hardhead. They fail to realize we tell them whats best. Half of the time they have to learn the hard way.

    Good luck

    Answer by Elizabeth1837 at 8:12 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Believe me, boot camp would be an option if I had the money and if my kid was doing drugs and or drinking. But she is not. Since she is 17 1/2 I have decided to let her transfer to Adult education via independent study. I have been fighting this because I wanted her to stay in her school. But she really hates it and this is why she has been acting this way. And I am sick of fighting this, so we are going to give this a try. Once she turns 18 it's all on her anyway. I would rather do it this way than force her to stay in this school.

    Thanks everyone for your suggestions!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • The GED is not a bad way to go for her- just push her through it. There is no shame in GED vs high school diploma, both will get you into a jr college and with really strong ACT scores she could get into a good college. obviously that is not her goal right now, but once she realizes that min wage jobs will be her life she will rethink her priorities, and then being a bit older the money for college will not be wasted. Good Luck momma, sometimes compromise is what's best.

    Answer by LuckyClown at 3:56 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

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