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How do you level with a 4 year old?

I am teaching my 4 year old how to write and she will not let me get close to her. "I want to do it all by myself!" she yells. She is mean to every kid she meets. She tells them she is not their friend and she yells at them. I try to tell her she needs to be nice or she will not have ANY friends! Is that too harsh?! My husband and I are speechless...any advice?

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Asked by AshleyCrane at 9:04 PM on Mar. 9, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • Thats I feel for ya sometimes my four yr old is grouchy but nothing to this extreme I would look at her influences that can sometimes be a trigger like when my 4 yr old comes home from my in laws he's awful to me but recently we made it clear he would not be aloud over there if this is what it was going to be like. So maybe someone ( not always directly ie; bashing you) is having an influence on her and if you can figure out who it is you can ask them to tone down their attitude around your child or not have them around them kids are like sponges!

    Answer by MrsDeputy at 10:44 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • 1-2 - Time out !!!! I know we're pretty strict at my house. My son is 4 and goes to pre-school. We went to a meeting before he started school.  They use it and it's called 1-2-3 Magic. We actually started using it at 3 yrs. old. We're teaching our son to respect others and himself so we don't like it when he gets out of hand. My son has that attitude too. I don't know, you just have to be firm and consistent. She's not too young to learn how to say "sorry". It took my son awhile to say sorry when he was being mean. He's gotten much better since he's been in school. I'll probably get bashed for being harsh but it's my son and this works for us.


    Answer by AlohaWahine at 11:04 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • hugs


    Answer by AlohaWahine at 11:05 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Have you told her that it's not nice to be so disrespectful to people? Have you shown her the correct way to interact with and treat other people? Have you made her apologize to others when she's mean to them? Have you really scolded her for her behavior? Have you disciplined her for her behavior?

    My 3 year old has acted like that in the past. I've scolded him right then and there and made him apologize. Yes, he was embarrassed, but it's improper behavior and will NOT be tolerated. Worked wonders for us.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:55 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Well, I don't necessarily have that problem my son has never met a stranger, but he can get pretty mean to me. We used the 1-2-timeout (or what we call a "break"). When he has calmed down he comes back from his room apologizes and then we explain why he can not be rude and that it hurts feelings. At this age they are beginning to really understand empathy, so I would explain to her why you shouldn't do those things and how it really makes others feel.

    Answer by My2BoyznMe0508 at 9:34 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

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