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HELP! Got a crazy person living in my house!

I took in a friend who was getting out of an "abusive" relationship because she has a two year old son, and had nowhere else to go! In the last month and a half she has been staying with me her focus has completely shifted from getting her life together and supporting her son to finding a guy and fucking every man she meets. She tells me she is going "out" and asks me to watch the baby and she wont be out late and doesn't show up till the next morning. I don't want to kick the whore out because i don't want the baby living under a bridge!! WTF!! He will wake up at 7am when i am taking my daughter to school, and she will leave him in his play pen until 1pm with a dirty diaper and no food! He's not my responsibity, and I am GOING CRAZY! What should i do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Mar. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • CPS
    miss_nevin

    Answer by miss_nevin at 11:54 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • Drop her off at a battered womens shelter. They can help her get her life situated. It sounds like you should really be reporting your friend for neglect, though. That's terrible that she's treating her son so poorly
    MicahsMom612

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 11:54 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I'd warn her that she's being negligent and while you want to help her she needs to help herself/child as well. She should live under your rules if she's in your home. You really need to have a chat if she's a good friend. If not, take photos and document what is going on. Is there a grandparent somewhere ? Or aunt? Otherwise, yes, Child Protective Services if she continues to neglect the baby.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:56 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I don't want to be responsible for the baby ending up in foster care... I don't have much faith in that system.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • The babies grandmother is also living under a bridge... literally!! So she wont be much help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 PM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I'm sorry your good-Samaritan help has backfired. You're a good friend, but she is taking advantage of you.

    She sounds like a teenager going crazy with freedom. You need to act like a parent and put your foot down.

    Tell her SHE is responsible for her son's health and you expect her to be a good mom by taking care of him. Be specific when you tell her you don't want her to be out past .....o'clock, and you expect her to keep her child clean, etc. Give her a time deadline to get out of your house and find her own place!

    If you have children and a husband/SO it's your priority to provide your family a stable environment-even if it means telling the other mom to move out. Tough love is sometimes the best way to motivate people to do the right thing!

    If she doesn't follow through after your talk, I'd call social services and ask for help.
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 12:05 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Thank you timelessglass! I appreciate the answer, and you are exactly right about the teenager with freedom!! As of yesterday she now has a curfew, and you know I really hate that she puts me in the position that I have to act like her mother. So I guess we will see whether or not she will respect it or not. As for me I do have a 5 year old little girl, and my husband is deployed right now. I agreed to take my friend in b/c my husband is gone so I had the space and thought I would try to help. Especially for the babies sake. I do feel like all the time I have to devote to her son and the distractions she is causing are taking away from my daughter. Somethings gotta give...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • This is your home, you need to set the rules for your home.

    You are not a babysitting service. You do not mind watching her son every once and a while if she asks first but she is staying in your home for free (I assume) so she needs to do her fair share too. She needs to help clean up, watch the kids, contribute to groceries so on and so forth. She needs to prove that she is pro-actively looking for a place to stay on her own.

    If she cannot do this, you will drop her off at a women's shelter or call your state's social service office. In addition, if she continues to neglect her son, you will call CPS or the police. Tell her you're sorry she went through such a rough time but she's taking it out on you and her son and this ISN'T how she should be repaying someone who is doing her a favor.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 12:20 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • In my opinion you should just sit down and talk to her seriously and tell her straight out,If you do not straighten up get a job,take care of your kid,stop partying like she was a teenager then you have no other option then to call social services.You can even take care of him and get paid by not adopting him he will live with you for some time and you can get paid for that.Does she have any relatives that are willing to accept the responsiblilty of the kid? I am just trying to give you some options here.You tell her to get a job and pay half the rent and food that is not an option that is a necesity.Write up on the computer that by this date_____, she will have a job and pay half rent and half the food.Be firm with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • You know, what you're doing might just be saving her and her baby's life, especially with granny under a bridge. OMG. Also, you acting as a parent might be the very thing she's been craving or needing since who knows how long! Maybe she just needs to know someone cares enough to set some rules? Wishful thinking? you're doing a good thing either way.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:46 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

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