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How do you stop a 12 year old child from lying?

I have been having problems with my 12 year old lying all the time about any and everything. I have tried punishing her by grounding, taking things away from her, spanking, and making her apologize to the people she has lied about but nothing seems to be working. Anyone got any advice for a mother who is going bald?

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melmel518

Asked by melmel518 at 3:27 AM on Mar. 10, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (6)
  • this age sucks period. start giving her a dose of her own medicine. when she asks you to take her to a friends house lie and say yes, but dont do it. she she asks for something also lie to her and say ok. sou nds cruel but she will learn the lesson, trust me.
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 3:30 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I agree with the 1st reply. Sometimes they need a taste of their own med. lol Good luck!
    SharoninKy

    Answer by SharoninKy at 8:48 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I also wonder what reinforcement a child is getting from a behavior; no matter how small. Oddly enough, even what seems to be negative is reinforcement. She should be punished for lying, but she should be rewarded for the good. Begin some type of positive behavior system which allows her positive consequences for when she is behaving and negative ones for the misbehaviors. Try to make sure you are part of the positive. Maybe she is willing to endure the punishment if that means extra time with you.
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 9:26 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I have tried the negative and the positive reinforcement. When she does what she is suppose to we have a girls night or we go fishing, which are her favorite things to do. But none of this seems to work. She has ADHD and ODD. She is medicated and she is in counseling. None of this seems to work. I am not going to give up on her, I love her too much to do that.
    melmel518

    Answer by melmel518 at 9:32 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I think it's the ODD part. My 10 yo dd has ODD, nothing else has showed up (well, so far) and acts like you say and more. We've tried counseling, positive behavior systems, nothing seems to click w/her. I'm like you when you say "I love her too much to give up on her". I so... feel what you are going through!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    cat4458

    Answer by cat4458 at 11:24 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • She is too old to be spanked, first of all. Have you had her evaluated by a counselor? There could be an underlying issue. Take away things that really matter to her, keep her from her friends. Talk to her about how when she needs someone to believe her, no one will. I watch a 13 yr old that can't tell the truth to save her life and we are all running out of ideas to get her to change her ways. Her social worker and psychiatrist don't even know what to do.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:05 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

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