Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do I do about family that continues to buy toys for my son for no reason?

I have tried to ask them nicely to stop buying him toys just because they can't say no, and they still do it. They do have good intentions, by we are trying to teach our 4 yr old about money and how things cost and they just continue to buy buy buy. I am grateful for what they do, but how can I explain to them? They started this if your mommy says no, then we will just keep it at grandmas thing, it is soo rude and disrespectful how can I get them to understand?


Asked by My2BoyznMe0508 at 9:28 AM on Mar. 10, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Explain it to them the way you just explained it on here. Tell them you appreciate all they do but you're trying to teach him and it's confusing him. Have them save all the things they'd like to buy for birthdays and Christmas.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:40 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • explain the difference between gifts. I do not think there is anything wrong with grandparents spoiling their grandchildren

    Answer by ZaTa at 9:29 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • My parents have always done this, it might just be something little from the dollar store but it's toys none the less, I did have to explain to the kids that with me they wouldn't get something everytime we went to the store! They did know the difference between grandma getting them stuff and mom getting them stuff. I do think it's ok for grandparents to buy gifts, as long as you are talking about small when they start buying videogames, tv & bigger gifts I do have a problem...IMO those things are earned.

    Answer by INDIANAMOM at 9:43 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • True love between a grandparent and child is actually priceless. Dealing with toys from them is far easier than dealing with them refusing to back you when you need their health addressed in a specific way or rules of behavior such as bedtime, bath or no bath etc. I'd just work with your son before visits that the toy, no matter what it is, is a special gift from grandparents and must be taken care of. Remind him of that right before you see them and tell him that if it's not cared for and it's handled in a totally careless way always - that it won't be allowed to be played with. Teaching him responsibility of ownership of things and that every thing - a one dollar item or a twelve dollar or fifty dollar, what ever, item - it's money was worked hard for and saved for by that person to by it for your son. You yourself can teach him cost by saying no to checkout items or giving him a dollar every two weeks to use.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Tell them how you feel, sit them down and tell them. You aren't trying to seem ungreatful to the things they do for your kids..But there is comes a time to draw a very thick line..If you dont want it to happen (all the time) and you are trying to teach your four year old about money and not being able to get EVERYTHING they want when they want it..They the other people in their life need to work wiht you!
    Tell them that if they feel the need to buy them somethng..Then tell them it is a toy that MUST stay at their house for when the child is around them. If it is somethng they dont have room for in their house then dont buy it..

    Answer by Novmeber2006 at 10:36 AM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I gave up... along time ago with my MIL... lol...
     Just sit down with them and talk to them... tell them how you feel about it and listen to them and why they like to do it... maybe allow them to buy something once in awhile for your child apparently it makes them happy to so...


    Answer by gmasboy at 2:34 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I just read an interesting book about that. It said as long as you are teaching the right thing at home, not to worry. FYI, the book is called "Children: the Challenge" by Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs. It's in Chapter 26. Its argument is that as much as you want to, you just cannot correct every environment children are in. You should have a confidence in your teaching, and let others do their stuff. I don't know if I can agree 100%, but it's sure interesting. (At least, it makes me feel better because I'm always worried about what my child encounters everyday.)
    What if you ask them if they don't mind donating next time they give him something?

    Answer by Meachan at 3:06 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I want to thank yuou all 4 your answers however i have tried talking to them its not his grandma that is the problem she just enables it. I have also tried to compromise with them but that doesn't help either. it wouldn't be bad every once in a while but it is everytime they are around. It has gotten to the point where my son will call his aunt and ask for a toy truck (which he already has 100's of) n she will go get it! But thank you all.

    Answer by My2BoyznMe0508 at 3:31 PM on Mar. 10, 2009