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what is wrong with me??

okay, my SO likes to watch a lot of porn.... i dont think its a big deal, but lately it bothers me a lot....i think its a little "jealousy" problem that i have for those perfect body pornstars that he like to watch..... so, when were having sex, instead of like maybe fantasizing (sp) about someone else.... i sometimes think about him being with someone else ( like one of those pornstars)...... is it that i have low self esteem because of my not so perfect body?? or what is wrong with me??? what do u think??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on Mar. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I was the same way. I used to joke about him needing to watch fat girl porn but he saw the hint of truth in it. I am on the chunks side, and let me tell ya, I couldn't stop laughing when he actually went and got the fat girl porn either! Just talk to him. Alot of guys know they are pushing their luck asking for sex at odd times, but we all know guys want it all the time too, I would rather my hubby watch porn that bug me after a hard day. Be honest and see if he will spend some extra time with you, I am sure he would rather do that than watch porn anyway, just doesn't think he has a shot ya know.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 12:52 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Don't think they are too perfect. Can we say herpes? Warts? Ew.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • www.shellylubben.com
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I think it is natural to feel that way. I am not really a jealous person and i know my husband also sometimes looks at porn and most of the time i don't care, but I also feel not so pretty compared to those women. I don't think all men who look at porn are comparing his SO to those women, I think most guys just like to watch it and it happens to have lots of gorgeous girls on there, I think they'd still watch if it were housewives like us, but the porn industry doesn't seem to like that idea i guess!! I swear! Us women are conditioned from birth to dislike our bodies and to be made to think we should look like all the movie stars etc. I say no more!! You and I and everyone is beautiful inside and out so be proud and love your body! Damn those porn ladies, i bet they have really stretched out vaginas so let that make you feel better. LOL
    GMR

    Answer by GMR at 12:56 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Porn infects your brain
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I would say that you adapting the thoughts of your SO with another woman (they way you are doing it, as opposed to it just being something that turns you on) as a way to almost punish yourself or cause yourself pain. You are not alone other peole do things like that. But, although it is a way to "cope" I think essentially it is damaging. In the end you probably won't feel as genuinely satisfied as if you had not had those kinds of fanatasies or it could go the other way and you could start to need to fantasize that way during sex. I would intentionally make an effort to stop fantasizing that way. I would try to "swap" for another fantasy or better yet make a conscious effort to be completely in the moment. Don't feel bad or beat yourself up. There is nothing wrong with you. 

    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 1:05 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Maybe you are substituting yourself in therse personal fantasies with porn stars b/c you envy what they stand for....they are women that have the self confidence to go onscreen and make tons of money for having sex! You are focusing in on the "idea" of a porn star and what she represents. The confidence in thier bodies ( yes, most porn star women are hot...but even they will tell you its b/c they had lots of cosmetic surgery.) the sexual empowerment from knowing what turns men on, and the freedom to act on thier own desires. Are you wishing you could be like them? (not actually making movies, but the "essence" of a porn star)...I'm sure hubby loves you for you, and if you want to change something about how you handle this, you don't need to change your looks, just your confidence and attitude! Read "The Good Girls Guide to Bad Girl Sex" or "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" to start and just believe in your own sexiness!
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 7:13 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

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