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Why do some moms at school ignore me?

My feelings get really hurt when other mothers at my child's school don't speak. I am a nice, friendly, considerate person. But sometimes, people who I know and who know me walk right by, or are standing right in front of me and don't even say hello. I just don't understand this. It is only polite to speak to people, right? I am always friendly and show an interest in others. I will be standing there waiting for the bell to ring, and some mothers I know will walk right up and talk to other people around, but not to me. I just don't understand why some people seem to have so many friends and connections and people want to be around them, but not me. I am attractive, I don't come to school dressed frumpily, I don't smell (lol), so I am just really confused. I used to always go up to people and say hi and try and make conversation, but I am tired of it not being reciprocal. What should I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:07 PM on Mar. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • It's probably not your problem, but theirs. As a sometimes socially awkward gal myself, I can say that I don't always know if or when I should speak to others, even if I know them. Plus sometimes the effort of making chit-chat just doesn't seem worth it. I know that sounds terrible. I think people are too isolated in their own little family worlds nowadays.

    Answer by sfwilson at 2:10 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • You said you are attractive and I think you think that is the reason why they are not talking to you or you wouldn't have mentioned it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Maybe these others Moms know each from other activities thier kids are in or could be neighbors, relatives?

    Some women just love being in a clique and excluding others...

    I would try to start up a conversation with one of the others  moms about something school related just to chit-chat; maybe there is a good reason that has nothing to do with you.

    If they are still ignoring you just forget them its not worth it.


    Answer by BubbaLuva at 2:15 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I have the same problems. I think I'm a good friend but I guess from the number of people that bother to speak to me I'm not. Maybe it's what the poster above mentioned. We are both just too beautiful!!!! LOL

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I'm the same way! I'm the youngest mom and my DD's preschool by far.. and the moms dont even say hi! but their loss! whatever... I'm there for my DD not to make friends...


    Answer by staceybelly9 at 2:19 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Are you my long lost twin, OMG! I feel the same way everything you just described is me too.

    I don't talk much and I don't take the anitiative to do it either now if you talk to me I will talk to you. I used to talk to people but that was because I knew them better but now that I have moved away and started my own live with my dh and kids and feel I don't know too many people that is why I am this way. I mean those r my thoughts. Don't take it personal I guess we just need to give it time and go with it. Some people talk alot and some people just sit back and (And we are those kind) GL But I know how you feel you're like... Am I even here do you see me standing here....Hello!!!


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 2:20 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • My experience with the moms at school is that they know each other from activities outside of the class and they tend to be clickish because of it. If it's really important to you, you could try joining the PTA, volunteering in class or in the yard.

    Personally, I agree with the PP it's their loss if they want to act that way.

    Answer by Liansmommie at 2:24 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I overlook their bad behavior and get from them what I want, a kind word and attention. if I have to be the assertive one to get it I'm ok with that. Heck I had to do that with my own parents growing up, it's not an issue for me now!

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:25 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Been there done that. They could have been friends with the others and are very wannbee not friendly except when they want to show off with their friends. Move on, I ignore this jealus ratty women. They are so jeaolus. They want all the attention, but the best part is the hottest sexiest latino guy there wants me and not them

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I think there will always be people who are rude and if I were you i would just contin ue to be you. You sound nmice and keep approuching only those you would want to actually be friends with. In my experience, the moms who act the way you describe really do not have any friends either because of how they treat others. They may look "popular" but they are pretty fake generally. Find a few moms you really like and try to get to know them, the others....just smile and don't take it personally. :o)

    Answer by Bearsjen at 2:54 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

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