Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My daughter has a neighborhood friend whose mother is constantly upset with me-Advice needed asap!

I made the mistake of getting close to the mom and telling her about my violent ex (she asked and I blubbered away) Anyways, just the other day, She called and gave me a 1/2 hour lecture about how her hubby doesn't want her kid over here now etc I guess the girl has been bugging her mom to come back on a daily basis. Let me say this- This isn't the first time she's blown up...the kid came over and was late getting home one night, she was really upset and scared to go home, so I called the mom to try and smooth things over and she totally went off on me. I'm quite upset and she basically incinuated that I was a bad mother for not setting "healthy boundaries for my child" I do have boundaries and do enforce them.Also, I barely know this woman, nor she I. She started having a breakdown on the phone telling me how stressed she is and how tired she is of fighting with her hubby over this. What do you think about all this?

Answer Question
 
RachelleNH

Asked by RachelleNH at 4:59 PM on Mar. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (92 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I think she's crazy. What are her reasons for not wanting her child to come over? What does she get upset about? I would just cut ties with her.
    nowhinning

    Answer by nowhinning at 5:03 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • She seems to think that my ex (whose been gone for 5 years now) will come back and kill us all...I am positive that won't happen, he's long moved on!
    RachelleNH

    Answer by RachelleNH at 5:05 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • she is trying to protect her child, it's not like your ex is stocking you.  You need to be careful what you share with others, some people are very judgmental.  If the mom wanted her daughter home by a certain time, how was that your fault?  As a mom she should have gone over your house to pick her up.  Next time her daughter is over, ask the mom what time she needs to be home and make sure you send her off.  Why don't you invite the mom over for coffee while the girls get together. This way you can get to know one another better. 

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 5:10 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I'd say either try what mommiedear said or don't allow her child to come over anymore since her mother obviously doesn't like or trust you for whatever reason. You don't have to be subjected to mistreatment from anyone unless you choose to.
    HeBlessedMe

    Answer by HeBlessedMe at 5:16 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • I think you should have walked the child home and discussed it face to face. You were responsible for reminding her to be home on time. You set a bad example and now you will be stuck with the impressions you have made on the mom on a personal level (telling your business) and as a mom (not watching the clock). You did that. Right or wrong, she is judging you for what you have shown her. You will just have to deal with it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • She sounds like a nutter. She rolls her stress downhill which means it's going to land in your lap if your child continues to associate with hers. It sounds like a lot of the issues are coming from her DH and so the problems are likely to continue.

    I don't see how you are responsible for the kid to get home on time. The kid should be responsible for that or should not be allowed to come over otherwise. But I wouldn't put up with the verbal abuse. Stand your ground and tell her off.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 5:31 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • i'm with isabellalecour on this one
    dee778

    Answer by dee778 at 6:21 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • "You were responsible for reminding her to be home on time. You set a bad example and now you will be stuck with the impressions you have made on the mom on a personal level.."
    I want you to know that I asked the child what time she had to be home and she said 6 pm, she didn't tell me the entire truth...it was actually 5 pm that she was supposed to be home and there's just a little more to this story...the girl told me that her parents snap and beat her...the mother jumped me about her saying that...I'm thinking maybe the girl is abused and that's the reason for this odd behavior?
    RachelleNH

    Answer by RachelleNH at 6:22 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN