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What do you do when your grown daughter seems to be going down the wrong road? drinking, going out all the time, stopped attending church, seems to be drifting away from husband and daughter?

My 25 year old daughter has changed this last year, she spends all her free time with her so called friends, says her husband is boring and she stopped going to church because she says they judge her, I feel something is wrong, but when I ask her or anything she gets mad.

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Asked by karen4him at 6:22 PM on Mar. 10, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (8)
  • I would bring it to her attention and make sure she sees what she's doing,also there may be a reason why.Offer her all the help you can.

    Answer by lawla at 9:00 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Pray and pray some more. Sadly she is right, christians are the most judgemental and condemning of people. But God can deal with her without an active church membership per sa. In addition she maybe going through a sort of growing pain and yes it is painful and you want to shield her but you can't. She has to go through it and she will resent anyone "telling her what to do". So I would always speak truth to her when she asks or seems opened to it and then I would just pray for her.

    Answer by Ladycwells at 4:28 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • In something like this, you might have to let her hit rock bottom to see whats going on. No matter what you say,she will get mad, so try it the other way. I know it will be hard, but maybe tough love can win on this one.Make sure your granchild knows you are there no matter what.

    Answer by Kat122 at 4:49 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I would point how to her what I see and I would tell her that she is harming her family. And I would be extremely supportive of her husband and child. They may be the ones who most need your help.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:53 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I went through this with my oldest son. Try to sit down & have coffee or whatever & talk to her. Find out if there is something you could help her with (just NOT $). If she says no, be there for her husband & baby. If things get too bad. Jump in if the baby needs it! If he's a good guy, just be there for the & pray. Put your daughter & her husband on ALL KINDS of Prayer chains. One, for him to be there for her when she's done & 2, to strenghten their marriage. If you see that she's going too far, DO an intervention! She might be angry, but it WILL BE WORTH IT! MY MOM DID!
    I just wish I had for my son. Neither my son or his wife should have kids. Now, he doesn't! NOT intervening @ the right time, cost me my granddaughter. My DIL bought alcohol for son & went to work. He passed out & the baby drowned in the tub. JUST BE SURE YOUR THERE FOR THE RIGHT PERSON! I WISH I HAD BEEN! Good Luck! I'll keep YOUR family in prayer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Talk to her and do not lecture her.
    All you can do is give her advice from one woman to another.
    You can worry about her, but you cannot obsess with the thought.
    She will do what she wants reguardless and when she feels like
    behaving again she will. She might just feel as if she needs a little
    break and will return once mentally ready.
    You can't expect everyone to be like you. Not everyone is ready for the things
    that come at them in life and I think that this is her way of letting off a little stea
    I think that for the most part she has things under control, she's just not doing
    things you way, which most daughters don't.
    Have confidence in how you raised her.
    No matter what she'll always have the morals you gave her.
    She'll be beck around, even if its not on your schedule.

    Answer by bronxcouture at 1:16 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • IF you haven't said anything then you get one freebie. After that there is nothing you can do. All that she will do is drift farther away. It's sad and it's hard but she is grown now.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 2:46 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I wouldn't worry too much about the church issue. Many people ARE extraordinarily judgemental, despite the beliefs they say they have, which is why I don't go to church. You don't have to go to church to have a 'close relationship' with God. Just sit down and talk to her. Give her and her family your support. She may be having an identity crisis, or maybe she thought she was ready to marry when she truly wasn't. I wouldn't condemn her for spending time with her 'so called friends', as you call them, either.. Especially when you keep in mind that she left her church because people were being judgemental. The last thing she needs right now is that kind of thing from her parents. Just love her and be there for her. It'll work out in the end.

    Answer by _Jynxx_ at 1:42 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

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