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Am I so wrong? If so, how can I fix it?

I've always been one to wear my feelings on my sleeve, and so, I'm always all over my husband. We'll be married 2 years in June. I'm always telling him I love him; I always want to hold his hand or just touch him in some way, and I love hugging him. Lately, he's seeming resistant to it a little. I know he's not cheating on me (small town--it would get back to me quick), and I know he loves me.

Am I wrong here? Do I need to back off? If so, how do I do it? This is how I express my love and feel close to him.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Mar. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I would say that if it is making him uncomfortable tone it down a little and you never know he just might want you to be more affectionate when he is getting less of it.
    Mommy3b1g

    Answer by Mommy3b1g at 7:38 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • How about you talk to him about it?
    If he's your husband and you're so in love, why are you asking strangers for advice rather than your own husband??
    Liyoness

    Answer by Liyoness at 7:45 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • OP here...

    I HAVE talked to him about it. He tells me not to worry about it, but I can't help it. I'm wife #4, and he admitted to leaving one of them because she wanted too much sex when he was dog tired. I'm afraid he'll do the same to me. I don't have to have sex, but I'm very affectionate.

    He tells me stories about how his family isn't that affectionate and wasn't when he was growing up. I just need to know how to handle this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Your feelings are normal. His family may not have been very demonstrative, not very huggy and touchy. I'm afraid if you ask him he may shrug it off and not answer about how he actually feels. Back off just a tiny bit and see if it helps. Hug him of course, but hold off on touching him all the time. See if this helps.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:54 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • i'm the same as your husband. not very affectionate and just try to not do it too much. i love my hubby but sometimes i get so annoyed that he wants me to kiss him every minute and hug him and sit with him. i don't mind holding hands in fact i totally love that but i can't used to always having to take energy out to kiss and hug him as much as he wants. i like my space and don't feel the need for every little second of the day to be smooching on each other. it's not literally every second but it seems like it when your the kind of person who can't stand to have a lot of affection. i wish i wasn't like that though cause i feel it spreads unto my children and they won't be very affectionate either. how to break it i have no idea. it's really hard trying to accept the affection. super hard. it's a strange feeling and just doesn't sit well so we try to avoid it as much as possible. good luck.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 8:04 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Personally it drives me nuts when my husband is touchy touch all teh time. I feel liek crap most of the time physically and sometimes it takes all teh energy I have to do a simple task like cook dinner and the touchy touchy feels mor elike a chore. Give him his space hun, relationships go through hot periods and warm periods whats important is that you can maintain the relationship through the warm (or sometimes even cold) periods
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 8:22 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • OP here...

    I appreciate all the advice. Now for another question...How can I keep my feelings from being hurt because he doesn't want me to be so affectionate? That's my biggest problem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Well, if you've talked to him, he's not having an affair and everything is good between the two of you except for this one "LITTLE" thing, you need to find other things to occupy yourself with. 2 years is still the honeymoon stage and you probably feel like it should be all lovey dovey and touchy feely. He doesn't. I would say, back off a little. As long as there is love, trust and open communication between the 2 of you, all is good. I'm on the other end of the spectrum, after 26 years of being together, I don't need all the touchy feely stuff and my hubby still does. I've explained to him that as much as I love him "Back off", just a little and he has. Life is good!

    meetzycat

    Answer by meetzycat at 9:30 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Give him SPACE!!!! That's how you handle it.

    My husband is the same way...he DOES NOT want to be crawled over. I had to learn that snuggling up in bed was fine, constant touching and leaning up against him on the couch WAS NOT for him.

    Easiest way to make him NOT want sex? Be all over him. Easiest way to get him to want it? Be indifferent.

    The only way you can keep your feelings from being hurt is to decide you're not going to be hurt by it. That's really all...you've got to get it in your head that touching is NOT a sign of love to him but rather an irritation. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:42 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • ask him
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:36 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

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