Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

11 year old acting up.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a 11 year old cousin and her parents want to send her to juvy is it a good idea ? the reason why they wanna do it is cause she keeps on acting bad and dicthed twice once with two boys and the 2nd she went to her friends house and shes been giving them attudie and she isnt listening and the school are tired of her acting bad in school.. what would you do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Mar. 10, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (6)
  • ugh... I have no idea....We are having problems with my 11 year old Step son too...It is so frustrating and we are both so fed up we just don't know what to do anymore. We have tried everything in our power...Good luck to them.
    Carli26

    Answer by Carli26 at 10:47 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • i would change her schools first maybe an all girl school. Before sending her off to juvy has her parents tried grounding, talking to her, etc.. watch her friends closely only allow her to hang with people you trust and if you know their parents. she is acting like a 16yearold.
    when my cousin went through this I told my aunt to drop off/ pick her up from school only allowing her to be around family until she gets her head out of the clouds.
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 10:49 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • Juvie is for children that are in trouble with the law. The state (or city) will send them there if they get into trouble...it's not for parents to just "put them in".
    Now, there are certain things that she can do that are along the lines that you're talking about, like "behavior boo camps" and such. They are helpful for some, damaging for others.
    At 11 years old, however, a child acting out this much needs something. It's usually a reach for some sort of attention, (NOT that she doesn't give it to her, but that the daughter feels like she needs more). Personally, I'd glue the kids ass to mine, and I'd head to school with her, and I'd watch her like a hawk until she got it together.
    Ooftacat

    Answer by Ooftacat at 7:31 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • wow and she is only 11! I don't think it is a good idea. The parents perhaps need to get the school involved and be more aware.
    WonderWoman1979

    Answer by WonderWoman1979 at 8:45 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • No, juvenile hall would be dangerous for her. I would just arrange to take her to school, check on her during the day, and take her home, myself. No phone, and no calls on the house phone. If that didn't fix the attitude, or if she tried to get around the measures, she would lose every bit of personal property in her room and the door would be taken off the hinges. Her world needs to change and she needs to have it brought home that Mom and Dad are in charge. Once she improved, I would allow her to invite a girl friend over for completely supervised visits. No phone of her own, ever, until she was working and driving, which would have to be earned by strict compliance.
    callmeann

    Answer by callmeann at 11:04 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I agree with 'sticking to her like glue'. Drop her off by walking her into school and pick her up at the end of the day by being there early . Ask a counselor to work with you at school.
    List the top 2 behaviors you want to work on. Decide where and when the behaviors occur most often (time of day, location, after being asked for homework, etc.) and how intense they are. After you've sorted all of that out, decide what there is in her environment that influences these behaviors. It can be things that are missing as well as present. Guess what she is trying to achieve through acting out. It's usually to get or avoid something. Think of ways she can communicate these needs other than the behavior she is using. Make rules to limit her use of the target behaviors and provide ways to teach and reinforce new ones. It's work, but include her in the process and her behavior will change. Post the plan in plain view.
    spedtchrmom

    Answer by spedtchrmom at 7:51 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN