Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why is it that when kids are little they always want to help. But when they get big enough to help they don't want to help?

I am a single mother of 11 kids. The oldest is 18 and the youngest is 2. I work 40 hours a week. When I come home I am tired. I have to make my kids help with fixing dinner and cleaning the house. I try giving out allowance but they will only do the chores if they know they're getting paid.

Answer Question

Asked by Shnntt1125 at 10:33 PM on Mar. 10, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • lol because they learn that they have to do it. When they get older they realize its more of a chore and its not just something fun they do with mommy. My son is nine and i dont give him allowence money. I explain to him that this isnt just my house or my mess and its not fair that i would have to clean all by myself. He takes care of the clean dishes daily and helps me empty the dryer on top of keeping his room clean. When he has company over i'll help him clean his room to be fair. If he does a good job for a couple weeks i might take him out for lunch or dinner or by him a toy or something. Good luck and eleven kids, thats great congradulations!

    Answer by sparks8299 at 11:48 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • i have 2 girls and they both have health problems.i work nights so i can have the days with them.they do not get allowances.if their is something they want they have to earn by doing the chores.if they don't do their chores then they don't what they want.i was 14 when my mother went back to work so i had to take care of my brother and sister and we had to take turns with the cooking and help withthe cleaning and my dad wasn't around,i didn't get an allowance when i was 16 i had partitme job and still had to help my oldest is 14 and my youngest is 13 they both want to work,but aren't quite old enough yet.chores makes kids have responsibiltiy

    Answer by mom2tomboys at 2:29 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Doing the chores only when they get allowance is backwards. They do the chores and then they get allowance. They are members of the household and they are expected to share the chores as well as the income. The older children should have jobs (paying, outside of the home jobs) anyway, and they should be contributing part of their income to running the household. - not necessarily a big portion of it, but definitely some of it, besides doing an adult's share of chores. From the time I started babysitting at age 13 I contributed part of my income to the household, and I took over all of my own expenses that I was able to.


    Answer by Bmat at 2:06 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Wow! You must be one busy mom. Good for you for working to provide for your children! IMO chores should not be optional. If they do not do them they should be disciplined (grounded, have something taken away, etc).

    Answer by JasonsMom2007 at 2:55 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • most of your children are old enough to understand the concept of a team. and with you being a single mom, they should be required to help out. after all, some of them will be on their own soon and need to know how to cook, clean, do laundry, etc. having this knowledge should be a required thing for leaving the home, imo.

    i can't imagine what you're going through as a single mom to so many children. i agree that if they refuse to help, they should be disciplined. however, i can certainly understand that that would be difficult for you to do all the time.

    Answer by fluud7 at 3:16 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • wow i never got paid for nothing as a kid if i was eating i was working if i wasn't wanting to go naked i was working if i wanted a place too sleep i was working tough love comes too mind mom my mother did it alone also

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.