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Language barrier or just plain RUDE??

i just had my daughter exactly 3 weeks ago and i have 15 lbs left to lose so im pretty much almost back to normal and i have a little puchy belly left but im fine with that.

yesterday my MIL and i got into her truck and right when my SO shut the door to the truck and could no longer hear me and her she says...

"You really need to get something to hold your lose stomach in"

MIL is mexican but speaks PERFECTLY fine english, she has spoken english majority of her life, her ex husband SPEAKS english too....

she also is a little on the heavy side ( just to add some background to the situation)

she likes to say really rude things like this when my SO is not around and when i tell him he says.. oh its a language barrier and thinks i am taking it the wrong way. the way i see it she knows how to speak english and telling someone their loose stomach needs to me tucked in or sucked in or whatever is REALLY RUDE

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MomNbabyGirl009

Asked by MomNbabyGirl009 at 1:51 AM on Mar. 11, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 20 (9,279 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • SO MY QUESTION IS...

    DO YOU THINK IT IS A LANGUAGE BARRIER OR IS IT HER JUST BEING FLAT OUT RUDE.. I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO SAY BECAUSE IM SO TAKEN BACK BY HER SUDDEN AND RUDE COMMENTS.

    AND WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THE SITUATION? I DONT LIKE GOING TO HER HOUSE OR BEING AROUND HER BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS PULLS THIS AND I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE... BUT I WANT MY DAUGHTER TO KNOW AND BE AROUND HER GRANDMA...
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 1:52 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I'd take it as she as being rude. Instead of me saying she should've said it nicer, SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT AT ALL! LOL. You just had a baby, what does she expect? Not every woman looks 100% perfect after they had a baby.
    LadySade

    Answer by LadySade at 1:56 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Tell her you've been preoccupied with caring for and adoring your newborn.
    And that later you'll think about yourself.
    And maybe question her on why she is so concerned about your appearance rather than the fact that you just gave birth to her granddaughter.
    Sometimes when you surprise people by being straight up, blunt and honest, you'll get an honest answer back...or they'll stop pestering you.
    Anjeey

    Answer by Anjeey at 2:02 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I woulda said...."ditto". lol.
    Kaytlynsmommy

    Answer by Kaytlynsmommy at 2:05 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Oh no! Don't you know ALL Mexican women wear girdles to tuck the fat in??? I am Mexican and my mom reminds me of this everytime I throw a pack of granny panties in the cart at Wal-Mart! Ay no, gorda (fatty) you need a girdle. My mom speaks no english so I have to be arguing in spanish about how I am not that fat and granny panties breathe unlike the polyester girdles she prays I would wear. You should watch "Real women have curves" with her. My mom kind of chuckled and said, "That's just how us mexican women are"!
    Gigi1969

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 2:08 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I think that it is a bit of both. I know that from dating a man from Peru in the past myself, perfect English doesn't always mean they know how to substitute softer words or words that are more palatable based on our coloquialisms. They don't always know which words have heavier meanings. They also tend to describe things a little more bluntly and literally because, again, they aren't aware of the softer terms that we tend to gently tell someone something. Perhaps when she was young and having babies, someone said the same to her and she thinks it is OK? Maybe where she is from or in her family, it is OK to talk to someone like that.

    Then again, she could just be rude (and it sounds like this is the case). You don't owe her an explanation or gameplan on your weightloss. Just say "mmhmm maybe" and move on to something else.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 2:12 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • lol gigi.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 2:14 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • You want to know something. I don't think she is being rude. Maybe it is a language barrier. She is being factual. When you wear tighter pants it helps to keep the muscles tight. It really does help. :)
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 2:20 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Oh! Susie you reminded me of how the theory works. Did you ever see how women "wrap" themselves with an ace bandage to look thinner. It really works.. My son got his cast off and it had compressed all the fat and then a day later it was back.
    Gigi1969

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 2:30 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Next time she is nasty say "Ouch did you mean that to hurt my feelings because it did" or "wow that was mean" ..
    Sometimes the daughter in law has to set the foundries. If you think her nastiness is really directed at you and you don't want to deal with her then don't go over to her house.
    My sil used to be mean and want to push my buttons, so finally I told her one day "I don't have the time nor the inclination to deal with this. I am trying my best to be a good wife to your brother, however that does not include participating in the Drama". Guess what she stopped for a while.
    She still tries it but guess what if that is how she wants to be remembered or known then so be it. She is really good at taking what I say wrong. I tell my husband do you think I mean to annoy her?
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 6:36 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

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