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What's the next step?

My husband and I have been living together for right at 4 months now. (He is in the military) Before we moved in together he was a different man. He called and sent emails talking about how wonderful our lives were going to be ... so on and so on. Basically, in a nut shell, he acted more loving towards me.
Now that we have our home and our family is together ... he barely goes through the motions. Its like, he has what he had been dreaming about for nearly a year and now he's just not content.
He says hurtful things constantly .. and on purpose. I know I may seem like I'm being dramatic but its true. I picked up and moved 3000 miles away from ALL my family and friends and he constantly threatens me with things like, "Just go home. I don't want you here anymore."
I'm not sure what my real question is... but, has anyone else dealt with a JERK like this before? I don't know what to do. My heart is hurting.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on Mar. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Have you talked to him about it?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • It sounds like you really didn't know the real him before you got married. How long were you two actually physically together before marriage?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Do you have any kids together? That makes it harder. I guess....go home. For a while at least. See where it leads from there. Maybe he'll realize what an ass he's being.

    Answer by Kaytlynsmommy at 2:11 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Hopefully you haven't had kids yet. If that is the case, I would move out if you don't get results from having a long talk. Years ago, I once had a boyfriend that I moved in with after he charmed me and begged me to live with him. I was naive and agreed to do that. Almost as soon as he moved in, he became moody, mean and completely different. We fought all the time. The relationship lasted a year and we called it quits.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 2:52 AM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • You say he's in the military, but you haven't said if he was deployed or not. If he was deployed recently, maybe it's PSTD
    wait.. PTSD

    Answer by motherofanaries at 4:11 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Pack your bags, take the kids, and just go home.

    He doesn't want you there anymore.

    When he calls you and begs you to come back, let him know that he needs to work out his issues and GROW UP before he tells a woman he wants to marry her and live happily ever after.

    Answer by kimberleee382 at 5:14 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

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