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dating a father of 2 for a year who has no dicipline skills with his 2 boys. one has adhd and he baby's him instead of diciplining him. The 7 yr old is very disrespectful and tempers are an everyday thing. i have 2 boys who are wonderful because i raised them that way.i am at my wits in trying to tell him kids need dicipline and consistency...should i bother anymore?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Mar. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Personally, I wouldn't want to be with someone who had such different views on how to be a parent. What if you decided to get married or live together, two sets of rules for two sets of kids isn't fair. You can't expect to give your children boundaries but not his. And if you did decide to take matters into your own hands and make them follow the same rules your children must follow, chances are that he wouldn't back you up on it. It's just a messy road to try and travel and not worth it.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 3:08 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • no. He is an adult and will do what he wants to do. People don't like being told they are raising their kids incorrectly and usually buck at being told how to raise their kids.

    He will have to come to that conclusion on his own.

    If he is not good 'husband / father to your boys' material, there probably isn't much sense in continuing to date him. (JMO)
    Kiter

    Answer by Kiter at 3:10 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • If he has custody of the children and they are always around, you might as well end it now because otherwise if will be non stop bickering about your kids vs my kids. I've been there. End it now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • i love him so much i can't break it off......but that does seem to be the only fights we have is regarding his kids......
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • You can love him all you want but you aren't being fair to your kids if you continue this. No offense but your children should be more important than yourself.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 3:27 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • oh no my boys like them alot and we all get along when were all together and he makes my boys laugh and entertain them as well so thats not the issue at all, trust me my boys are first in my life....plus my BF says my kids are so great and i'm like well.....yours can be too.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Sounds like you are just making excuses. You are getting good advice here, you just don't want to listen so why even ask the question?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Your love for him is not going to make it enough..If you ever marry this man, I will bet you will divorce him also..If my fiance and I were not on the same page with disipline..we would have nothing..I read your posts up there..you are making excuses to stay..what about if you have a child with him....you two will really fight...
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 3:33 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I understand it may not be easy especially if he is good with your kids attention wise but in the long run don't you think your boys will begin to resent the fact that their stepbrothers get away with misbehaving? You can't change your BF now you wont be able to change him if you get married. A person has to want that you can't force change. 

    Tawanda74

    Answer by Tawanda74 at 3:57 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

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