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At what point do I stop commenting on my children's grooming. My daughter is 22 and her front teeth are very stained from too much coke and coffee. I bought her a teeth whitening kit which she used a few times then stopped. Sh0uld I remind her to whiten or bite my tongue. I'm afraid it will effect her chosen career and her love life.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:16 PM on Mar. 11, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (14)
  • My mom hasn't stopped yet. Don't nag and if she doesn't want to hear it let it go because she may quit calling...but my mom still speaks her piece on a subject atleast once. Apparently my daughters tennis shoes are too dirty for her liking...she told me last night that i should try to wash them and if they don't look better we need to get her new ones. (they arent even that old but the playground at school is black asphalt). Anyway I think its what mothers do but only say something one more time then let that topic go. And be open where you don't say I told you so when she comes to you later and hasn't listened to your advice.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 5:21 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • As a dental hygienist, a teeth whitening kit probably isn't going to help. She sounds as if she needs to have her teeth cleaned professionally.
    PrttyMstng

    Answer by PrttyMstng at 6:10 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Mention it and let it go...... She is 22 and time to be an adult. I only suggest things to my kids and let it go. It comes with having respect for each other.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I would be concerned about the reasons why she does not seem to care about her appearance. This is not what I consider normal behavior for a 22 year old woman. Instead of nagging at her about doing stuff, why not try talking to her about how she feels about herself and seeing if you can help her in the area of improving her self-esteem? The lack of concern is only a symptom of some more deeply rooted problem. Try encouraging her more with positive suggestions rather than the tactics you have been using. Example "You have such a beautiful smile and it really shows off your teeth. I notice they aren't as white as they once were. How about I make you an appointment with the dentist and let's get them cleaned?" That way, she will feel like you are on her side and not just criticizing what you don't like about her.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:37 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • At 22 she is a grown woman and unless she is delayed in some way I would not say anything about of her personal grooming.

    GypsyWillow

    Answer by GypsyWillow at 11:01 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Stop now! My daughter used be thin and smart about boys but now she has a dumb boyfriend and all they do is go out to eat. She is getting a pot belly but I bite my tongue everytime I want to say something because it is her life and she knows how I feel so there is no point in upsetting the apple cart.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 2:44 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • it would be rude NOT to tell her. Thats what mom's are for. She will still love you even if you give your opinion.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:38 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Her teeth may be stained from antibiotics (like tetracycline)n taken as a child.If not,give her the whitenining kit...mention it once...& let it be !
    cafeangel

    Answer by cafeangel at 5:17 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Let it go. You have made your opinion on it clear. My MIL does this to DH. She is more overweight than he is, but she is constantly on him to lose weight. And she asks me right in front of him how I can stand him as big as he is. He is seriously, according to his doctor, 30 pounds overweight. So I asked my FIL in front of her how he can stand being married to a heinous fat b*&%h. Could have handled it better, but it drives me crazy!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • She's an adult and this really is none of your concern. You did your job and now it is time to find something else to do with your life besides nagging another adult about her teeth for heavens sake.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

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