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How would you have responded?

So, DH and I are at Lowes today looking for wallpaper borders and stencils and checking paint prices. After we find what we are looking for, DH wants to keep looking around. I ask if there is something specific he is looking for and he says no I just want to wander. Well, I hate wandering aimlessly, and there were a few other stores that we agreed to check out. He knows this and says, " Why do you care? It's not like we have anything else to do and besides, YOU NEED THE EXERCISE!" yeah. Needless to say I was a little upset about the last part. I told him to take me directly home and I have barely spoken to him in the last two hours. I'll admit that I haven't exactly done a good job of losing my baby weight, but was it really okay for him to say that to me?

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Rebecca7708

Asked by Rebecca7708 at 5:37 PM on Mar. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • NO! That is definitely something a husband should never say. The only time I think it should be allowed is if the wife's weight is clearly causing her health problems.
    peppermintmocha

    Answer by peppermintmocha at 5:42 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I think sometimes they say things like that but not to be mean. I mean we complain about our weight they kinda just take it as an open subject! After I had my dd I was moved to a recovery room and the food tray was so small and i asked why and my husband said "you don't need that much your're not pregnant anymore!" ha ha i got upset then but I don't think they mean to be hurtful when they say things like that. Unless he was being rude on purpose then he was totally in the wrong and that is really hurtful!
    MrsDeputy

    Answer by MrsDeputy at 5:43 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • You know the answer. In fact no one but you can decide that answer. It wasn't said to me. It was said to you, by someone I presume you love. I would calm myself and then approach him in a non-accusing way tell him how you feel. If it hurt your feelings, tell him that. Don't shout, refuse to be drawn in to a fight. Open the door for communication and leave it open. Hopefully, he will realize he was thoughtless and cruel and apologize. Be prepared that he may not though. Perhaps he is upset and angry with you for not taking better care of yourself...who knows. You two need to talk, not fight, or yell or accuse.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:44 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I think maybe he could have said it a little different but I don't think you should quit talking to him. I think sometimes, we forget about losing the weight while so busy with the kids. I think sometimes you just get comfortable in the body they left you instead of trying to work it off. I would be happy if my husband reminded me to exercise. I'm being 100% honest.

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 5:54 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • exercise is something we all could use so even though his words seemed insensitive I'm sure he meant no real harm. Men are just stupid
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:57 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Um....maybe I'm not as sensitive as you, because my husband will come right out and tell if he thinks my butt is getting bigger. It's mostly in a joking way and even if it wasn't a joke that your husband was making I really doubt that he inteded to hurt your feelings as badly as he did. We all know that men are different and they are way more "to the point" than we are. In his head he was probably thinking "Walking = excersize" and nothing more. You are thinking "excersize=he thinks I'm FAT=he's disgusted by me, etc." I love my husband but men really are kinda dumb when it comes to wording things correctly.
    Raegy

    Answer by Raegy at 6:09 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Who cares if you haven't lost your baby weight? I haven't lol and I gave birth and year n half ago.. I think that was mean. But just ask him why he said it in a mean way.
    MomAt15woah

    Answer by MomAt15woah at 6:43 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • ITA Raegy
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 7:12 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Shake it off. Men are dumb and say dumb things. Just loose it at your own pace
    PunkinLPN

    Answer by PunkinLPN at 7:35 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • yeah i havent even pretended to lose my baby weight.... i want to but its hard!
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 8:04 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

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