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anyone know what i can do about my mother-in-law?

My mother-in-law treats me like crap and i don't know what to do about it. Every time something goes wrong around the house I'm the one to blame, she gets yelled at and it always comes back on me. She gets so angry that she gets in my face and throw's her hands near my face (close enough to hit me) but she doesn't touch me. I try to avoid and ignore her but when i do she gets worse and says I'm disrespectful. Her thought on respect is "if I'm yelling at you and treating you this way you should still respect me." I have a 15 month old and when she does get this way i fear for my daughter cause shes always on my hip when she does the things she does. My husband is going to school full time and I'm a stay at home mother, we cant move out till he brings home the money which will be beginning of next year. If anyone has any advice on what i could do please help me out. thank you!

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Tmehiar

Asked by Tmehiar at 7:53 PM on Mar. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • you should look into getting house that is base on the money that you make you should tell your husband what is going on and how it make you fell and any other help you can get maybe your family can help you i will keep you in my prays my GOD bless you and your family michelle
    michellesp

    Answer by michellesp at 8:48 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • This is just an idea, but you could apply for an apartment based on income. If your income is low, the price will be low enough so you won't have to struggle. I've known people to get it for like $100 a month or sometimes less if they are single with children.


    Other solution would be your husband. Sometimes the MAN has to STEP UP to his mom and put her in her place when she is treating his wife badly. My dad had to do it with his mom, my DH had to do it with his mom, infact, I know a lot of men who had to. He has to tell straight up that he won't tolerate it.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Just a shot in the dark...

    Have you tried yelling back? Some people that are aggressive this way do not respond to rational solutions. In fact, they think even worse of you b/c you are "weak" and "allow" them to treat you badly, so you must deserve to be treated disrespectfully. Some people will actually respect you more if you stand up to them and can trade verbal blows.

    PP's had good ideas too...this was just one of those "what if this is one of those crazy situations where it may work" kind of idea for me....
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 8:57 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Honey you do not need your child in that . I would go see about low income housing or try and find someone else to let you stay with them .Let your husband /bf know about this and let him put her in her spot. You are not with her you are with the son. You do what you got to do to take care of your child who is to say she will not hit you and that baby be in youer arms. I know if you are like me there would be a killen going on hope i helped if not sorry
    rachabro

    Answer by rachabro at 9:09 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I'd be getting an increase in my school loan and moving out. I wouldn't allow anyone to treat me like that but then again you are in her domain. The Section 8 housing is an option but there is normally a waiting period of up to several yrs in some larger cities.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:42 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I would yell back like ozarkgirl3 said because you do not need to be treated like that by your mother-in-law. I probably would yell back cuz I wouldn't be able to stand that. I would also talk to my husband about it like the other girls said and see if he could talk to his mom and tell her to stop it. Also tell her that she is acting very immature by yelling at you for no reason in front of your young child. Children learn young and your daughter does not need to be in that situation. I take it your mother-in-law wasn't a good mom to her kids to act like that. If she hits you call the police and tell them everything! Good luck!I don't like my mother-in-law at all, she's so stupid and controlling, but I'm glad she never yelled at me. I'm sorry to hear of your problems.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I am sorry you and your baby have to endure that. It is NOT HEALTHY for either of you, it's emotional abuse. I wouldn't get in her face unless I KNEW that is a fight I would win and not end up in jail for. Sounds like she would turn physical. You and your baby definitely do not need that. He needs to help you or you need to start networking every avenue to get help from somewhere else, perhaps another relative or a friend if he is unwilling to help. I suppose housing help is even harder in this economy. I too will pray for you, God bless, wish I could be in a position to help you.
    N17

    Answer by N17 at 10:52 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I do not understand why she feels she has the right to treat you like a child. Your MIL thinks she is doing you a huge favor there for has the right to treat you how she wishes. This is so wrong of her. You need to try and not feed into her drama, kill her with kindness, stay out of her way. You husband needs to tell his mother that she has no right to yell at you. How dare she behave in this manner in front of your baby. I'm sorry you are going through this, but you are going to have to suck it up until you move out. Once your out she will have to follow YOUR rules when she visits or your husband can just take your daughter to visit her at her house.

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 11:19 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

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