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How can I tell that I have made a HUGE mistake?

I am asking a very similar question of what this other woman just asked. I fell in love with a man, where everything about him I loved. Now we have been married nearly 2 years and together about 3 years, and I am beginning to realize, that this isn't the man I thought he was. He seems different than the guy I was seeing 2 years ago and I don't find myself looking at him as lovingly as I used to. I don't know if it's just me, or is he really changing? Did I just make a HUGH mistake marrying him?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:12 PM on Mar. 11, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Sweetie, the first few years of marriage are full of changes. I would hate for you to give up on your marriage just because of a rough patch.

    You should sit down when you have some quiet time and make a list of all the things you love about him. Then write a list of things that you do not like about him. Then rip the not-like list up.

    After being married for 12 years, I have learned that the more I view my husband in a positive light in my heart and in my head....the more wonderful he becomes. My perception starts becoming reality. I wish I would have learned that much earlier in my marriage, we could have been spared some fighting and heartache.

    Love is more than a feeling, it's a choice. You need to wake up every single morning making the choice to love your husband. No matter what happens during the day (and it's okay to get mad at him) you'll still remember that you made the choice to love him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Try counseling. or take a look at yourself and find out why the change. He married you in good faith, in trust, and he deserves that you work hard to make the marriage successful. You promised that you would. This may be one of those "for worse" times. Instead of thinking what you don't like about him, think what you do like about him. Either do the date night thing or get away with him for short weekend breaks at a bed and breakfast.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:17 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • You married him for better or worse, sickness and health till death do you part. This is one of those not so good moments in your marriage. People change, relationships change. Try to look for positive parts of your relationship and not focus on the negative. It takes a lot of work to make a marriage work it doesn't just happen by itself. Remember those vows and work on it, no matter who you are with you are gonna have to work on it to be successful. I guess I just feel that people take marriage vows way too loosely. The media shows celebrities trading in their spouses for new ones, get rid of that one and get a younger model, or if you don't like what i like we;ll get a divorce. It makes me sad. I hope I don't get bashed for my feelings on marriage. Unless he's beating the piss out of you, mentally abusive,or hurting your children try to work it out, it's rewarding, trust me.

    Answer by Steff107 at 8:22 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I love your answer ANON 8:23! I just wish you weren't ANON, you should be proud! Your answer made me well up.....maybe I'm a little post partum!lol

    Answer by Steff107 at 8:26 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Anon 8:23
    That was very well said. I love it!
    It helped me and I'm not even having problems or bad

    Answer by Alizzie_Mom at 9:25 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • only you can answer that question

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:36 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • I'm guessing your children are young and we all know how demanding they are on our time and energy.  It is all to easy to slip into the busy routine of juggling work, home and family and end up becoming co-parents instead of husband and wife.  Try putting some fun back into your relationship and you will probably find the man you fell in love with again.


    Answer by beeky at 9:38 PM on Mar. 11, 2009