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Should I take my son and leave?

I know when times are tough like they are in today's economy that stress runs high. But I have found myself wondering if that is the cause or catylist of my situation. My husband is short and extremely impatient with our son. and that's making a long story short. He dosen't hit him or me but he told me just the other week that he was having feelings of contempt for both my son and I. But it seems to be getting worse, I would say its like an emotional rather than physical abuse. He is horribly pessimistic and has a "dooms day" type of attitude. He refuses move into my parents house if it were to come to that. I know he's depressed and I need to support him but it just keeps getting worse. Today he was trying to entertain our 2 year old son by watching a movie on his laptop. I was not in the room but he was frustrated with him and called him a"f***er" with such meanness. it hurts me to hear it I just want to protect my son.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Mar. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I think a trial separation might be a good idea. It comes down to keeping yourself and your child safe. Go stay with your parents for awhile and maybe try to get him into some family counseling.

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 11:29 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Well at least he told you how he's feeling. That's a sign that he knows it's wrong and he wants help. Isn't there a way you can work through this rough patch? Be as honest with him as he was with you. Unabashedly so. Don't spare his feelings, he didn't spare yours. Maybe you'll be able to get to the bottom of the problems.

    Answer by beckcorc at 11:36 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Have you tried to talk to him about his feelings? I know some men will not open up. My ex started out by calling my young son names and then he started doing things like grabbing him on the top of his head, he unbuckled his car seat and slammed on the brakes, etc. I ended up taking my son while he was at work and going to a women's shelter with him. We never reconciled because I was afraid for my son and kept him from him for 3 years until the court made me let him see him but I had it set up that he had to have supervised visitation. It is hard but if it comes to it you can do it. If you do decide to leave, do not tell your husband, mine ran around town with a gun the day I left. I'm not saying that yours will do that, it is just a warning because sometimes men do go crazy when their wives leave them with their child. Cafemom has some great resources in the Members Resources. Take care, hon. You are not alone.

    Answer by loflingirl at 11:42 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • It sounds like he needs to seek help for his actions.. they have free anger management counceling in most areas.. I would suggest this first.. if he is unwilling to get help.. then you may not have any other options.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:34 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • sounds like you have given him more than enough chances to "talk about his feelings" and it is time he heard yours. Like pp said, don't spare his feeliongs, he didnt care about yours. My SO recently told me he feels smothered lol I told him to go to his mommys house to work that out. I already have 1 child, he makes one more too many.
    Calling your son names is not acceptable-no matter how he is feeling. protect your child before he is scarred for life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • No excuse for talking to your son that way. Sometimes emotional and verbal abuse is as bad if not worse than physical. I've been there and it's so draining to have to live that way. Sometimes you just have to count your losses and move on. Statistics show that emotional and verbal usually always end up being physical sooner or later. I wish you the best!! I'm here if you want to talk. I know how hard it is, but believe me there are good men out there that are patient and kind and good to children ( even if they aren't his). Take care sweetie!!

    Answer by foofoomommy at 1:49 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • you should go away with your son for a week and let him see what he is going to miss out on if you do leave. i have already had to do it with my husband and it has done wonders. don't let him treat your son that way. your son will have no respect for himself and will always have problems with himself if you don't get him away from it.

    Answer by mrsclt at 4:42 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

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