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How do I get my 14 month old to come to me?

When I tell my 14 month old to come to me she thinks that it is hilarious to take a couple steps toward me and even more steps backward.



If I say it like I mean business she cries and I think she gets afraid (then of course she doesn't want to come to me).



Is this normal?



What can I do to fix it?



I've been having such an issue with discipline. How do you discipline a 14 month old?



Time out?



I was thinking about putting her in a playpen.



What do you do in these situations?

She seems really whiny, too lately. Is it normal at this age? I feel like I've done something wrong.

Answer Question
 
daniella_mae

Asked by daniella_mae at 11:50 PM on Mar. 11, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I have the same problem! If i tell her to go see grandma she goes.. or daddy. or anybody but me!
    I tap her on the hand (Doesnt hurt but she knows im serious!) And she listens to me for the rest of the day.
    Sorry i couldnt be more help

    By the way..
    When i tap her on the hand.. it really is just a tap. I dont know how you feel but i think spanking is unexaptable... but a little tap on the hand to make her pay attention isnt going to hurt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • My daughter goes to other people when I tell her to as well. It's just me. I feel like she hates me or something.
    daniella_mae

    Answer by daniella_mae at 11:56 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

  • Just remember this is not just a discipline issue, it's a safety issue. If you were in a parking lot or walking near a road, and you reached out to take her hand but she stepped back instead she could stumble in the path of a car, for example. I don't know what will work best for disciplining her because all kids are different, but hopefully reminding yourself about the safety issue will help you not feel so bad about it.
    mamapotter

    Answer by mamapotter at 12:03 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I'm freaked out about it. I just don't know how to fix it. I mean, if I discipline her wouldn't that make her want to come to me even less?

    I think that maybe it's because I am the one that does the unpleasant things that she doesn't like (i.e. changing her diapers, brushing her teeth, putting her to bed, etc.).

    daniella_mae

    Answer by daniella_mae at 12:08 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Im sorry daniella... i know how you feel. And its a tough situation! But its a phase, were the bad guys! Because we do mean things like changing diapers stuff like that!
    Just work with her
    mommyofAurora

    Answer by mommyofAurora at 12:22 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Just leave it. Really. The bigger a deal you make of it the less she'll want to come to you. So don't act as if it matters.

    Reverse psychology WORKS.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:56 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I was always told it was imperative to teach a child to come immediatly when called. When my kids don't come to me they get spanked. My kids know when I say come, it means come, when I say stop, I mean STOP and when I say NO it means NO. Your life will be easier if you enforce those.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I would say try to encourage her more than discipline her. Like, find a toy she really likes and play with it. Call out her name and say "come here! look what i got! come play with me" things of that sort. just let her know you're more than just a person who does the unpleasant things she doesnt like. let her know you are also fun to be around. my 2 year old randomly comes up to give us a kiss but when it comes to changing clothes... he runs cuz he thinks its funny so we have to play with him to get his clothes on and it works most of the time lol Try to encourage her more than discipline. see if that works for you. every child is different!!
    mom4life86

    Answer by mom4life86 at 3:25 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • It also helps if you say "OK. You don't want to come to me, so I am leaving. Bye-bye" and start walking away when she doesn't come to you. She will think you are leaving and will run to you. You can only do that at home where it is say to wlk away (as opposed to being on a street with cars passing by).
    Mother_Bunny

    Answer by Mother_Bunny at 1:31 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

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