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I don't know what to do!! What would you do?

I'm stressing so much here, my 22 year-old sis is going wild, I would say over the edge. She is drinking more often now, and it looks like she is drinking and driving, she is starting to smoke, and I wouldn't dbout that she has tried some drugs too. She has an uncontrolled sex life, and usually falls for married man, well 90% of the time. I'm pregnant, 15 weeks, and I just found out all of these a couple days ago, I want to confront her, but I know she is hard-headache, and I'm afraid that something happends to my baby. She is craving for a baby, and I'm afraid that because I'm preggo and my SIL is also preggo that she will try to get too, and that she will not know who the father is. My brother took the car away from her yesterday, IDK what will happend next. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN MY SITUATION? To make matters worst my DH found out all of these through a mutual friend. HOW EMBERRASING!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on Mar. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • If i were you because you are pregnate for one dont try to stress about it it is hard i know but it isnt good for you and the baby...for two i would have like a family intervention and tell her how you all fell about the things that she is doing and just see what she has to say...power comes in numbers if you know what i mean. there isn't nething you can really do to change her all you can do is help...you cant help someone that don't want it though....my prayers with you're family
    BBKMommy

    Answer by BBKMommy at 10:07 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • It's her life. She's grown.. She will calm down and grow out of all the partying eventually. I would do nothing. It's not my life.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:10 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • She's 22 , she's a grown-up. Don't get involved. There's nothing you can do.

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 10:20 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • THE PROBLEM IS THAT SHE WENT THROUGH SOMETHING SIMILAR A COUPLE YEARS AGO. SHE USES MAN (THE SINGLE MEN) AND LET THE MARRIED MEN TREAT HER LIKE S&*^T!! AND THAT'S THE REPUTATION SHE'S GOT ON HER, AND SHE IS THE GOD-MOTHER TO MY OLDEST CHILD, I FOUND OUT A REST OF THINGS LAST NIGHT I COULDN'T SLEEP AND I FEEL LIKE CRYING, WELL HAVE BEEN. AND WHEN I HAVE TRIED TO APPROACH TO HER SHE GOES TO "THE GUYS" AND TELL EVERYONE OF THEM THE SAME STORY THAT NOBODY LOVES HER AND CARES FOR HER AND S%#*T AND SHE FEELS LONLEY WHERE WE ARE 7 BROTHERS AND SISTERS. AND WE ALWAYS WATCH EACH OTHER'S BACK, SHE IS I WOULD SAY THE BLACK SHEEP, BUT I'M STILL VERY CONCERN FOR HER!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Again you can be concerned all you want, but there is nothing you can do since she's of age.

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 10:21 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • She is an adult. You cannot do anything so stop worrying about it. You have told her how you feel and it's up to her what to do with that information. Just stay out of it. Eventually, she will grow up. If she doesn't, well she can deal with the consequences. Leave her alone or she may just drag you down with her.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 10:24 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I was in your situation, except my sister did have a baby. And did not know who the father was for awhile. I tried talking to her, I wrote her a letter. Everything I did just pissed her off. The truth hurts. I used to take her little girl almost everyday, while she would go out. At least she wouldn't hvae been exposed to whatever was going on that day. I even offered to keep her for good. told my sis to go to school. and do something with her life. Sadly I don't think you can help your sister, she has to figure out on her own that she is leading a trashy life. Nothing that I did made my sister budge, she only dug her feet deeper in the ground.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 10:31 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Your sister is obviously hurting from some deeply rooted soul wound and trying to erase it and make the pain go away. Does she have a disorder like BPD? What you have described sounds like symptoms of that but I'm no doctor. Did she have childhood trauma? That usually causes BPD. I'd talk with her but she may not want to let you in to her deepest sanctum of secrets. Sometimes when a child is close to a dad (parent) he/she will feel abandoned and try to make that feeling go away by replacing it with someone (married man who will make that feeling of abandonment be relived and relived bc she feels she deserves it bc daddy left her too and she feels she's not worth a healthy relationship). Sadly they sometimes feel they can find true love by having a child; however, if she's not of a healthy mind and body that won't give her peace in the long run either.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:51 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • DON'T STRESS OVER IT!!! Its not worth it and its not good for you or the baby. Its probably some phase she is going thru or she might be really stressed out. Just don't worry too much about it because she'll grow outta it and regret it. My sister had this problem too until she met her fiance.
    Native_Mommy253

    Answer by Native_Mommy253 at 12:27 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

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