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He doesnt think he did wrong and wont do counseling! For 5 years we were happy and deeply in love, I thought.

They saw eachother everynight and started meeting up at least 1 night a week text all the time about what I don't know. Till I busted him. Then he quit the job. He was begging and trying so hard and I was working thru the pain for about 4 months. Then we seperated for about a week. Got back together for 1 1/2 months. Then right before we are about to go out New Years Eve he gets a text from a girl at his first job. Saying " Im a dork...Im so sending this by email... Just wanted to say that I miss you already...whether you believe that or not! Hope you know who this is! I hope I got your #right..." So now we have been seperated for almost 4 months. He made it seem like he wasnt into either of these girls and never did anything with them they were just friends. He is trying (well we are havng sex), and calls me everyday, on brks, and texts me. Should I work on it? I feel abandned hurt and he doesnt thnk he did wrng.

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Asked by 3luvbugs at 11:05 AM on Mar. 12, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (15)
  • omg yeah he did do wrong if u love him n think u can trust him work on it it takes time to do that though i would have killed my huubbbbyyyyy

    Answer by BBKMommy at 11:08 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • id leave him i mean sorry but if you are even still sleeping with him then he is getting wha the wants from you he has proven that he is going to be faithful im sorry

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • well, dont know what kind of levredge you have already givng up sex again, he would have to admit he was wrong and value my pain and understand it, maybe he does but Id have to hear him say it. Change his numbers take his vow youve put in allot of pain already so see if he is true.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • The old motto goes "Once a cheaper always a cheaper" especially if he feels he has done nothing wrong.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • oops i meant cheater always a cheater....

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Sorry honey, but you need a reality check. If he is cheating and lying and doesnt think he did anything wrong then the two of you are NOT happy and madly in love. Maybe you are...but its a fantasy. He's already gone and has shown you what little you mean to him. Move on.

    Answer by NorahSethsMommy at 11:22 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • He probably didn't do anything wrong. But you are so jealous that he might have a close female friend he knows how you would react. And obviously he was right. You are the one who needs counciling to work on your jealousy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • The women are so quick to tell someone to dump their spouse, to just assume he's like all men and is a lying cheat. That text could've been innocent. She could've missed working with him, could've meant she missed the friendship (and yea it's possible there was nothing else between them) and she says "hope I got your number right", so she's not texting him enough to even remember his number, or doesn't have it programmed in...
    Don't listen to the bitter women here, listen to your head and your heart, ask him to show you the phone records if you need to (since he can delete them from his phone) and see if he's feeding you a line. Trust is easily broken and so hard to restore but even if he did cheat, marriage is worth fighting for as long as both of you are willing to fight.
    Good luck to you

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:30 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • If he doesn't see what he did wrong, he will do it again. The main question that you have to answer to yourself is, can you deal w/ a lifetime of this? If the answer is yes, go ahead and reconcile, if not let him go chase skirts.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:42 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I'm lost. You don't know he even had a real affair? You are basing this on the fact that he worked with someone and possibly got to know them on a more friend type basis? The txts were simply that and not sexual? It couldn't have been too serious if she thinks he might not even remember her! Good grief, don't let your imagination get the best of you. So he talked to a woman. Big deal. He had to see her, he worked with her. Are you going to be this way every time he has a job with a female coworker? If this is the whole story I think you are being unreasonable. It sounds like you are making yourself miserable over nothing. if so, cut it out and fix things.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:44 AM on Mar. 12, 2009

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