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me and my boyfriend have been dating for over a year now. and he has brought up the fact that he really likes anal. but, i don't. and he knows i don't but, that i am willing to try it...but, i have tried it before and i already know i don't like it. it hurts, yet he says he would be gentle and would not do it if it's going to hurt too bad..but, why would a man want you to be in pain just so he can get off?...i just don't get the fascination with this crap...and most men want a woman who will do, how do i find a man who dosen't want it?....i don't know..just confused i guess...thanks!


Asked by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Mar. 12, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I had been in a very abusive relationship where the guy forced that upon me and it was one of the most painful things ever. BUT and don't ask why bc i don't know when I got with my DH we were talking about it one night and I decided why not. It was a very slow process and included a LOT of lube but as it turns out done correctly it can be fun and enjoyable. I think it has a lot to do with the fact they can enjoy 'finishing' inside without the chance of pregnancy (at least my husband says it's a plus) It's not something we do all the time, just here and there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • You are so wrong hunny, most men who have any brains know that anal is dirty, causes disease, so they don't want it. For Christ's sake, thats a poop shoot, not a sexual hole.

    Start going into new circles, you will see.

    Answer by SufiMajik at 1:38 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Umm I beg to differ... It doesn't have to be "dirty" lol And for some yes it is painful, and if it is for you then your SO should understand and move on to something else...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • When I was out in the world searching for a partner and creating profiles on dating sites I'd put in there NO ANAL! LOL I didn't want to fall for a guy then have to deal with that. It's a deal breaker for me. I don't like it and shouldn't be emotionally forced into it by some smooth talking guy.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:45 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • i think a lot of men like it because it is a control thing. done in a slow manner with lots of lube it can be fun, but if your not comfortable with it to start with then you wont be able to relax and enjoy yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • This is most certainly not for everyone, but just because it hurt once, doesn't mean it hurts everytime. If you have a partner who will be slow and patient and WILL STOP, if it begins to hurt then I would say give it another try. I've had times that it hurt and other times when it did not. It's not something I would do on a regular basis but on an occassion, it can be fun and enjoyable. Actually anal gives some of the best orgasms I have ever had. I guess it all depends on who you are with. There is a product you can purchase online or at sex toy parties called anal ease and that does help, if you need it. I would recommend lots of lube unless of course you are one who makes alot of your own lube( if you know what I mean). You do need to be really relaxed and if your comfortable with who you are with, that shouldn't be an issue. Somethings are worth trying again and for me this was one of them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Exactly what disease does anal sex cause????


    Answer by Dawn4175 at 2:21 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I don't like it either, unless I have a good good and then I still am only doing it for him

    Answer by suhweet1 at 2:29 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • i love it, i couldn't live without it. i introduced my husband to it and now its mostly all we do. just start out very very slow with lots and lots of lube. if it hurts too bad just stop and come back to it later.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • how about getting a strap on and asking him if you could do it to him!
    queer in disguise

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Mar. 12, 2009