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Will It work out or should we be apart???

we've been together since 2005 got married in September of 07 and our daughter was born in April 2008, we broke up in July of 07 because the wedding we were planning for April 08 was getting to him so we broke up only to find out i was pregnant to go with my wishes we got married a month later it was fine and was all OK but the little things cause fights that turn in to bigger fights, after repeated fighting over the dishes not being done I've got to my breaking point so I decided maybe separating for a little while would help us. I've made the arrangements to live somewhere else for the time being since we just not even a month ago signed a year lease at a new place. But last night we tried to talk it out but got no where we never do I just think he thinks I want out of being married and that's not true but i think he wants out also so how do you fix something like this??? I can't fight anymore its to hard to deal with

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Mar. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I think you're biggest mistake was getting married based on being pregnant. Yes, thats what people think the right thing to do is because they want the best for their child, but it is not always the best of circumstances. Especially if there is fighting. I would seperate. And if at some point things work out in the furture great! But since it was pushed upon both of you because of a child instead of your own wants, then its not meant to be. At least right now. As long as you two can agree on visitation and custody than that is all that is needed at this point
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • gosh, I don't know how many times I've fought with my s/o over taking out the trash. it's not something to break up over though. can you divide up household chores? is he too lazy to be dilligent about getting his chores done? or are you the one not getting done what you should? find the reasons things are not getting done and fix the root of the problem. Does someone have too much to do? If the problem is motivation, the lazy person just needs to buck up and be an adult and get chores done before ANYTHING else gets done. That means no TV and no fun until responsibilities are taken care of. It would be so dumb to let your relationship go over small things. You're both just going to have to DO instead of TRY. No more trying-just get it done.
    laadeedah

    Answer by laadeedah at 3:43 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I dont know the whole story, but being pregnant is no reason to get married. If you were having issues and decided to break up prior to finding out you were expecting, a baby (although a wonderful gift from God) is not an instant band-aid for any relationship. Children can put a strain on the strongest of marriages. If you love him, maybe some time to cool off is a good thing. After a couple days of not seeing eachother maybe you can sit down and discuss your relationship. Find out what he is feeling and how you can help him be happier. Tell him what you need from him. men cant read our signs and hints.. we need to spell it out for them most of the time. Hopefully this is just a wrinkle in communication and you guys can come together on the same page and work through it. I have been in a similar situation that ended in us back together and much happier than b4. if you want to talk I am here. (hope this helps)
    Tzutchka

    Answer by Tzutchka at 3:46 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Sorry but I dont think dishes or trash is a reason to fight!! let alone seperate
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 4:14 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • try reading the book "Proper care and feeding of husbands" by Dr. Laura. I know that the title probably strikes a twing of anger, especially if you think you are RIGHT about your side of the issues. I was pissed when I got it as a gift! I didn't read it for like 6 years! Hahaha. But seriously it is helpful. It kinda shows you how to get whatever you want from him by making small adjustments. It is suprising how great some of the things work.

    P.S.> I know reading is difficult with a little one so do it while they sleep. Good Luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I don't want to leave I really don't i was raised to fix the problem he wasn't he doesn't talk to me so if me leaving makes him snap out of the stupid mess we made of fighting over cleaning maybe it might make the real problem come to light there has to be a reason to fight other then me not cleaning and being lazy !!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • He's accusing you of not cleaning and being lazy???
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 5:42 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

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